Thursday, December 4, 2008

just keep it to yourself, i am better off not knowing

i am not at all a vain person. i honestly do not think about what i look like very often. people like to joke about my muscles and my wearing tight clothes, both of which are severely exaggerated, but my goal is usually to just look normal and blend in with the crowd...beyond that i don't give it much thought and i generally walk around blissfully unaware. with that in mind it is always upsetting when i am out in public with friends and while trying to hold in their laughter, someone points in a direction and is like "hey look! it's kevin!" without even looking, my immediate reaction is negative, for i am well aware of what i will soon see:




see...i bet you fuckers are laughing already




it's one thing for someone to spot some beautiful ninja and scream "it's nam!" or be watching full house and asking out loud, "when did nick get the role of uncle jessie?" making those beautiful-to-beautiful comparisons are both amusing and not embarrassing to anyone involved. not so much when someone sees someone that i resemble.

now, even though i have been getting better, i know that i am not in great shape and am still a good 30 pounds overweight, but as i mentioned above, how i look is not usually on my mind, so when something like that is brought to my attention, it's a hurtful reality slap in the face. the same goes for photos. i have accepted that i am definitely not photogenic, but pictures cannot really be avoided. pointing to the other fat asian guy in the room and jokingly calling him my twin can and should be avoided by those who care about my mental well-being.

this little rant was not spawned by any specific event, but just a buildup over the years of slowly breaking me down until i get to the point of complaining and whining about it on my blog. so next time you see some guy that you think looks like me, and i also happen to be there, i ask that you contain your giggling, make a mental note if you wish and wait until i go to the bathroom or something before making the comparison known to everyone else.







cleaned-up nick? why not? no harm done.












nam. they're both elegant and they both fight.











i suppose i never noticed it before, but dave does resemble han solo, but it's cool, harrison ford is a good-looking guy.














seriously though...it's not cool.

6 comments:

david said...

hahaha goddammit. i did start laughing at the picture immediately, before even acknowledging the presence of any text. i never knew you felt this way, kevin. now i feel kind of bad, especially since i am such a vain bastard anyway. nice blog-your entries are only getting better. check out my new blog...

Jess said...

Back in the day, I was always cast as "the witch" and once I was unanimously voted by my 7th grade English class as most like Madame Defarge, the ruthless, guillotine-happy antagonist from "A Tale of Two Cities" (My teacher made us cast the story using our classmates, probably as some sort of bizarre social experiment).

Sometimes it can be a little weird to find out how people see you....

kevin said...

you're right jess. it is weird to realize how people view you. i think i usually just try to block it out of my brain. i would not have pegged you as someone at all ruthless, but i guess i didn't know you back in 7th grade.

dave...glad you are blogging again.

Phil said...

whatevs, everyone says any white guy with red hair looks like me, and I'm sure Louis gets the same thing, I'm even pretty sure I've gotten that from you.

kevin said...

i suppose you could draw that comparison, except that it's probably not disheartening when you are reminded of your red hair.

neumunki said...

http://www.lacoctelera.com/myfiles/quefuede/Bolo-Yeung01.jpg