my new plan

a lot of time has passed between my last post (#199) and this one i am currently scribing (#200!), and those last few were far and few between. i guess this has been an eventful spring/summer/fall in a couple of ways. i am now attempting to get back on track and provide the 3 of you the trashcans in the street that you forgot you loved.

one thing i kept meaning to write about was my decision to completely remove myself from fantasy football. but you were so awesome at it kevin! i know, i know. no really, people called you a fantasy football genius! well maybe that's stretching things a bit. seriously, if people were having a fantasy draft, but were drafting fantasy owners amongst the pool of millions of owners, you would be a lock for top 3 and nobody would argue if someone chose you first. well...thanks. it is good to know my abilities were so highly regarded. well anyways, i am not playing at all this year. i may come back to it next year or sometime down the road, but for now i am out and not missing it at all.

i thought i might regret this decision. phil came up with ways to keep me in the league which were tempting, but i still declined once i knew the league had enough people. just this morning eskay was complaining about having a high scoring team, but continually losing to the top scoring team that week. i recall this specific frustration/anger so clearly now and it only helps justify my decision. the bottom line is, fantasy football is based way too much on randomness and luck for me to really enjoy anymore. this is why i prefer fantasy basketball and am curious to see how fantasy hockey with dave goes. unfortunately none of my friends feel this way and after giving it a try a few years ago, none of them would ever play again. so i am forced to try my luck with strangers where no money is involved and the dropout rates are high. last year went pretty well, but i don't think that league is being carried over into this season.

my interest in just regular football has been equally nonexistent. i've watched a few highlights on espn and maybe a few minutes just flipping through the channels on sunday, but had not sat down and watched a game until yesterday and that was just because my dad was. while watching, i saw that the ravens pulled out a last minute victory. it left me with a let down feeling. i never cared about the ravens before, nor do i care at all about the steelers. i was confused by this, but decided to chase the feeling. i realized a way for me to regain interest in football. i will take up the role of the hater.

like a villain slowly discovering his role in his comic world, i too began to realize my fate as the hater. if you are a fan of a football team, you can guess how i will feel about them. i am curious to see if this sustainable throughout the season. this experiment may be over by this time next week or could be the start of something interesting. i don't really care. i leave this post with the following questions that may answer themselves as the season progresses:

• what happens when 2 teams i am currently hating on face each other?
• will there be levels of hate or is it clear cut hate/don't hate?
• did this grow out of my love for hating or do i just want to ruin other peoples' fun?
• at what point do i feel sorry for chris and his broncos and no longer have the ability to hate on them? are the broncos any good? i just assume they are bad.
• what is the timeline for when i transition to finding this funny to just feeling like a jerk?

whatever....don't judge me

in continuing with today's theme of places a little north of maryland, i wanted to mention my excitement for the return of jersey shore. i guess it's equal parts, excitement, shame and lowered expectations. i really got into the show last year and i have spent a little time trying to figure out why it appealed to me. i don't act like the people on the show and if i met them in real life, i would probably want nothing to do with any of them. yet, i am compelled to watch the show and thoroughly enjoy it.

it's possible that the blatant girl-chasing/partying/completely selfish ways that the shore people live by speaks to some buried away part of my sub-conscious. or maybe it's just fun to laugh at ridiculous people and fist pump along. it's mindless television at it's best. let's see...what else?

• jersey accents are fun(ny)
• the situation is a quote machine
• awful house music
• t-shirts tighter than mine
• romantic shenanigans
• nicknames/new terminology
• assy mtv editing

there is also something fun about being interested and involved in a pop culture phenomenon, where you can feel everyone collectively buzzing about it. i know this season won't be the same and as the characters get more popular, visible and self-aware, it will lose it's luster quickly. i am also aware that this show might be garbage and the people involved are awful in so many ways, but i will allow myself to get excited and look forward to watching the premiere in a few days. we might even try to make another run at a jersey shore party...who knows?

"Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation."

"There's no way I'm going to Jersey without my hair gel. Can't leave without my gel."

"If you're not a guido then you can get the f*ck outta my face."

"Yo, I mean, this situation is gonna be indescribable, you can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into with The Situation."

"He's a really good guy. That's the kind of guy I need in my life. I think his name is Ron."

"She just doesn't want to feel like a trash bag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with her tongue."

"I'm gonna break it down dancing, I love the beats, I got my creepy patent move."

"You better be hittin' the gym and if you're not hittin' the gym for like an hour or so, you know, you may have a problem. Okay, cause I'm at the gym for like an hour-and-a-half... ya know? Workin' on my fitness."

"We're beatin'-up-the-beat, that's what we say when we're doing our fist pump. First, we start off by banging the ground, we're banging it as the beat builds 'cause that beat's hittin' us so we're fightin' back, it's like we beat up that beat."

"Pauly D. was with the grenade ... When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you, so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first."

"Yo, Pauly D has a little situation on his hands... she's definitely a stage 5 clinger."

"It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten."

i was gonna photoshop phil's face onto wall-e's body but quickly realized the time and effort to humor ratio was not good

tomorrow josie and i will be embarking on a quick trip to philadelphia, a city i always enjoy visiting. i am really excited about going and i expect josie to be an ideal traveling companion. because we're only going to be there for a little over a day, we have to just pick a few things we want to do and enjoy. obviously things don't always go as planned and here is a list of trip predictions:

• i will regret not requesting the hypo-allergenic pillows
• you will be able to witness josie's smile fade as she is subjected to picture after picture (flipbook style)
  
• we will drink way too much coffee
• i will run into soulja boy again
• i will find some amazing sunglasses
• bystanders will roll their eyes when i recreate the rocky scene at the pma
• we will skip the veggie cheesesteak
• i will be asked to "please stop making a scene"
• the independent will not disappoint, except for their european breakfast
• we will hit the gym with an intensity that makes the rest of the gym members uncomfortable
• we will be nerdy and write yelp reviews
• i will draw at least one thing
• i will debate someone in john wall vs evan turner
  

we'll see how accurate my crystal ball is. i do really enjoy hanging out in philly and i think we will try to book a slightly more extended trip in the near future to really enjoy the city.

zoom, zoom, zoom!

i am looking for a new car, but not necessarily a mazda...that was written to fool david. while the mazda 3 is in the running, i am also considering various toyotas and hondas (corolla, accord, prius, insight, civic, camry, etc.) unfortunately as i pass 180k miles, my honda accord, aka champagne dreams, looks to be about done. i could spend a ton and get the transmission fixed, but i think at this point, it's time to move on. she has served me well as i commuted 50 miles round trip to work and drove everyone around (because it was apparently "the dad car"). through that I put a lot of wear and tear on this car and as louis terms it, this car has earned it's death.

so now i am in the market for something new that i hope to take better care of and not run into the ground as quickly as c.d. with that in mind, i am slightly tempted to opt for something smaller, thus not automatically being assumed that it will be the limo for the night. maybe something along the lines of....
if the isetta is not really going to be an option, then i do still want to consider fuel efficiency. i am very intrigued by the prius and it's 50 mpg. motorweek awarded it the best overall car of the year. brodie has been anti prius due to the potential battery replacement, so that has swayed me some, though i have been reading that it is covered for like 100k miles or something. i can also potentially get a very basic model corolla for cheap. now i always say i don't care much about how a car looks outside and inside. i'm not a car person. it's just a means of transportation. at the same time, i do appreciate some additions, like a sun roof. i guess i need to figure out where i draw the line and decide if i am fine with the basic model in order to save some money.


i will probably need to go test drive a few of these models and make a decision in the near future before my car dies on 95. i am hoping for a low stress buying experience where i get everything i want at a price that is cheaper than i expect. i feel that is reasonable. otherwise i might just have to give xzibit a call and see what he can do for me.

a new era has begun

so normally around this time i am going football crazy...both fantasy and reality. this year, my not caring that started halfway through last season has carried over. the only football i care about now is on friday nights on nbc.

basketball was looking like it might follow suit in my odd loss of interest in sports. but then things started happening. first off, the wizards won the lottery! yeah, yeah, i know. last time we were in this position we kinda pulled a homer.
well this year, they finally got a no-brainer pick in future superstar john wall. he:

• is lightning-quick
• is an excellent passer
• is seemingly mature
• is fun to watch
• has his own dance

add to this, the drafting of some more rookies, trading for a some new players and basically pressing reset on the roster and you'll have something very close to what i like to do when i play nba2k on my 360. i know this will be a rebuilding year, but i enjoy the idea of potential and promise and look forward to seeing this team learn to play together and improve.

the nba also has a new villain and team to rout against in lebron james and the miami heat. i never liked lebron, but how he dealt with free agency as well as the ridiculous decision show just really cemented my hate for him. i won't elaborate too much more, but will sum up my dislike for lebron and how i will enjoy rooting against the heat for years to come with the following:

hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate

one final story in the nba that is luring me in this season is the arrival of an asian american player who had a great summer league and is not actually a giant. jeremy lin is a point guard from harvard who just signed with golden state. he is fun to watch and who knows...he could get some burn this season. i will follow him and try to reach for him in my fantasy basketball draft, assuming i do that this year.

mudskippers couple's quarrel

look at all the beautiful babies

the blog slacking continues, but at least i have been contributing some to my more project-based blog with josie. facebook continues to be a major time suck and i just don't see it fading anytime soon. various things have been going on in my life recently. i have certainly been more socially active, dating, meeting new people, going out a lot more frequently, etc. it's all been a nice change from the norm. with that in mind, i am quickly approaching what will surely be a life-defining trip to las vegas. i will be flying in with vegas veteran eskay and well will be meeting up with phil, erin, her sis and a bunch of their crew. we will be starting things off with the very un-kevin bottle service at some club on the strip. from there, i have no idea what to expect, but here are a few predictions:

• eskay will be forcefully removed from either a bar, club, casino or buffet
• i will lose a medium amount of money
• i will spend way too much on food and drinks
• cirque will not disappoint
• it will be too cold for the pool, but it won't stop me
• i will attempt to learn craps by watching phil play. he will win a bunch of money quickly, then i will play and mess up everyone's luck. i will then be booed off the table
• i will make it to the gym once
• my love for drinking from an open container will initially be sky high but quickly lose it's luster
• erin will put up with me and eskay in a very classy way
• phil will give me many looks ranging from "shut up" to "you need to stop drinking now"
• eskay's wild rollercoaster ride in gambling will be too much for me to handle
• it will be awesome to see kim after...at least 5 years, probably longer
• the sports book will be the best way for me to lose money
• i will do a shot with the midget at o'shea's
• i will start taking a lot of pictures but then become self conscious about looking too touristy
• i will miss jessie
• someone will make a comment about how they haven't had any vegetables for a few days
• apparently nobody on this trip has seen swingers so all of my movie quotes will go unappreciated

i think that about sums it up. i have had many people tell me to go see specific things, but there's only so much you can see in 3.5 days. i am really looking forward to this and have not been on a trip in quite a while. hopefully i return un-pierced, un-tattooed, un-married, un-injured and still have a place to live.

post-thriller hydration

double yolk is weirding me out, but i'm not backing down

feel free to hate....i would have in the past

well facebook has predictably taken away from my blog writing as it makes sense to post things that take 15 seconds to write and have it immediately go to 100 people, as opposed to spending up to an hour writing nonsense that maybe 4 people see. so while i am obviously not blogging very frequently, i hope to keep coming back and posting...say once or twice a month. we'll see...

so of late, we have had like 4 and a half feet of snow. dave, brodie and i did the polar bear plunge. we had a snow-interrupted jersey shore party with lots of fist pumping. jill and i have been learning the thriller dance. brodie and i (mostly brodie) are valiantly trying to redo the tiling in our bathroom. i am trying to decide if i should go to vegas with phil. the wizards blew up their team, which i think had to happen. butler and jamison were amazing and i know they are way better off on contending teams...although i don't think i can route for the cavs while lebron is there.

anyways, what i really wanted to note was my recent interest in radio pop music. dave and i have been bombarded by this stuff at the gym and i now find myself liking a lot of it. it's probably just another phase. i usually go back and forth with indie rock to hip hop and back with some electronic and folk mixed in. but now i am diggin stuff that i would have quickly mocked and hated on in the past. my question is, i wonder could this be some sort of reaction to getting older and is really a poorly masked and pathetic attempt to cling to any remaining shreds of youth? or if it's some sort of byproduct of my general arrested development finally manifesting into something noticeable by me. or maybe these songs are catchy as shit.

roller derby!

sneak preview

i haven't posted about my newest obsession, jersey shore. i guess my other new obsession, facebook has provided an outlet for that. anyways, we will hopefully be having a jersey shore party in a few weeks. dave and i have begun the careful crafting our uniforms for when we beat up the beat. this is just a small taste of what you can expect. also, if you have any ideas for stuff to add, let me know in the comments.

still figuring all this out

again, maybe because i am new to this, but how/why does someone i have never met send me a friend request on facebook? i got a request this morning from some asian girl i am pretty sure i have never seen before. because i have a lot of free time at work, i did a little detective work and perused her friends. all asian. i only know a few and none of them were there. is she collecting asians? my curiousity has piqued. only one way to find out.

new friend accepted...

update....i saw when she was born and immediately unfriended her.

i could only fight the good fight for so long

i finally quit being a baby and signed up for facebook. it got old explaining to people that i am not on facebook because my friend phil said i should be. i went kinda crazy with it on sunday and just started sending friend requests to anyone i knew. it was fun collecting friends like they were pokemon. i was instantly hooked at looking at pics and catching up with people i haven't seen in years. i was finding facebook to be amazing in general and was slightly concerned that i would become addicted.

this initial excitement has waned significantly over the last day or so. the rush of people becoming my friend has slowed and because i am new to the scene, i am still not completely familiar with how everything works. there seems to be a lot of diversions to choose from on facebook...maybe too many. the ability to post things on other peoples' "walls" lends itself to some obnoxious and assy possibilities. i do wish there was a "hate" option to counter all those likers.

this will be a good place to post pics. also, as a single guy, it's probably to my advantage to be on facebook, so when i meet new people i can expand my network a little. dave explained that it is good for checking out (pervin on) girls, but i don't think that is my style, as i tend to keep things classy. i also found you can be a fan of things, like celebrities. i have obviously "fan'ed" my 2 favorite celebrities, lolo and terry crews. we'll see if this becomes a heavily used social tool or another twitter where i get real into it and then just as quickly lose interest. only time will tell.

now that i finally sold out, it's time for allison to follow suit. i already know she is gonna be a stubborn donkey, so i will probably be creating an account for her, as is our custom. i don't really have many pictures of her, so i may have to get creative.