jellyfish are the key to a women's heart

ok, i'm straight bloggin! not once, twice, or even thrice, but whatever the version of 4 is, posts in one day.that's definitely a record and i must be extra slackin at work. anyways this final post of the day discusses an ongoing debate/joke i have been having with an unamed friend. a while back he was discussing purchasing a new hd tv for his bedroom. he already has a tv, but he seemed to "need" high definition and that it would really "bring his room together" and "be enticing for the ladies". i of course arbitrarily decided i was against this idea and decided i would find some other purchase that would be a better use of his money.
after some internet searching i discovered a pretty sweet looking neon jellyfish tank. since i am an expert in all things female, i explained to said friend how telling a girl in a house party type atmosphere "hey, i have a sweet looking neon jellyfish tank up in my room. wanna check it out?" is a lot more interesting and unique than saying "i got a big, flat tv in my room. want to watch it?"
what do you think? am i right or am i right? if you are a girl and are reading this, you are not single, but remember back to those good ol' days....which approach would work best?

i kicked ball

tomorrow marks the conclusion of my first season of kickball. it has been interesting. i am not sure what i was expecting (hot single girls all over me), but overall the experience was good. this was mainly due to the fact that it gave me something new to do and it led to a lot hanging out with eskay and chris but not so much the girl part.

our team was not good. i believe we are 1-4-1. i certainly had my share of mistakes and am not the greatest athlete, but i was one of the best players on the team if that gives you any indication of how bad our team was. we had the mercy rule called on us twice in one game. steve and i have collided twice while attempting to field fly balls. but whatever...that was not the point of kickball. i joined to have fun and meet some new people and to party. our first game seemed to indicate good things to come as almost every girl on the team was extremely hot. we lost that first game in what would be a preview of what was to come. postgame, chris, steve and i were ready to hit the bars...as is kind of the rule with kickball. guess who went to the bars that night? me, chris and steve. that shit was busted.

throughout the season, we managed to get various parts of the team to go out, but realized that they were all a tight group of friends and we were the strangers they were not really trying to include. some were friendlier than others, and a couple of people have actually been making efforts to include us more, which is nice. there has been a severe lack of flip cup which i experienced going out with steve's other team and was what i kind of thought was just the norm. not so much.

eskay and i kind of picked 2 girls who we thought were both hot and single to possibly focus our attention on. my girl who i will not name but refer to as the ice queen is hot (and to be honest, way out of my league), but she has never exactly warmed up to me. she has separated the boys from the girls twice now when we've gone out to the bars. last week i found out she had a boyfriend and met him. i was just telling steve...ice queen's bf was normal and seemed like a nice enough guy....but seriously, fuck that dude. i should have serenaded her.

steve's girl is certainly more friendly, but she hasn't really been showing much interest. i guess at least they didn't string us along and make us think we might have had a chance. they've been very clear through their actions. again, the team has been nice, but sort of like, we're all stuck here together, so we'll be polite and sort of half-ass drinking and hanging out. one couple has invited us to a halloween party, but i think it's cause they kinda feel bad for us and not because they really want us to attend. so that doesn't seem like a good prospect. what this all means is that tomorrow we will say goodbye. i will make out with the ice queen and then never see any of them ever again. only to be left with memories and possibly material for a book about kickball.

for the spring season, steve and i have been discussing joining a saturday league, starting a new team on our current league, and possibly me joining his current thursday league. that's a lot of kickball. hopefully there will be more social, single and realistically hot girls to reject me. we'll see. as of now, i am ready for this to be over and get back to my regular schedule, going to the gym a little more frequently, not drinking in the middle of the week and getting more sleep. i have fallen way off the with my health and fitness. i'm sure, come march, i will be ready to give it another go or 3.

i need to find my inner slater

because i know all of you care about my ongoing saga of being lame and single, i will note another evening out i had this weekend. saturday night i went to this bar that had ping pong tables with chris, bub, jill and bub's roommate nora. we ended up playing with this group of 3 cute girls. bub invented a game that allowed all 8 of us to play across 2 tables. i was next to the hottest girl, who jill described as a prettier lisa turtle and who i thought sort of looked like christina milian.

anyways, she was really cool and funny and we chatted a bit, often high fiving paddles when we got a point for our team or else when she successfully defended the abyss. either way, the night was set up pretty well for me to make a relatively low risk attempt at getting her number:

positives

• i came with a group of people, boys and girls ( i feel like arriving in a mixed group like that seems less creepy and desperate)
• she smiled at me quite a few times
• i didn't say anything incredibly stupid
• we had a sweet play where she popped the ball up off her arm and i slammed it for the point
• there were not a lot of other guys around trying to compete for their attention

negatives

• i was not drunk at all (no liquid courage to make me not a pussy)
• she was way too hot for me (obviously)
  
• the bar closed too early, i feel like another round of abyss ball and i maybe (probably not) could have made a move

oh well, another weekend, another regretful lack of trying. this has to stop and i need to man up. i don't know what i am so worried about. so what if she says no? it wouldn't be that big of a deal. i feel like i should have gone through this stuff when i was much younger. i also need to find the right balance of drunk. not be 10 drinks in, nor completely sober. i was the driver that night, so that is part of my excuse, but i think my friends are gonna have dd for me so that i can get moderately drunk...say 5 drinks?

another interesting note was that i wore my sambas after dave's gf made fun of my shoes last weekend. 3 different girls commented on how much they liked my shoes..granted 2 of them were jill and nora, but still...i'll take it. anyways, next week will be a different story, hopefully.

(i was looking for video of the episode where lisa breaks her foot and wins the dance contest at the max with screech but couldn't find it.)

i am no jon arbuckle

gonna take a quick break from my star trek story to note a recent revelation i had about my life. now i know i whine and complain about girls and stuff a lot on this blog, but whatever, that's what blogs are for sometimes. that's just the way it's gotta be sometimes. anyways, i took jessie to the vet last night as her ears have been bothering her. they also had to test her urine to make sure her uti was gone. well they got the sample and brought her back to the exam room where i was. jessie then begins to pee. not her normal squat and pee maneuver i have seen thousands of times. she was just standing as if nothing was going on and pee was shooting out from behind like she suddenly sprung a leak. i immediately yelled for her to stop and made her move. i quickly grabbed some paper towels, hoping i could clean it up before anyone noticed. then i looked at jessie, now peeing where i moved her to. it was ridiculous. i was scrambling around trying to clean up what ended up being about 10 different puddles of pee in something out of a stupid movie. this ridiculousness lasted about 5 minutes and i was able to "clean" it up, but as soon as the vet came in, i was like, we gotta change rooms.

ah, the new vet. she was of course really cute and age appropriate and she seemed to really like jessie. i considered trying to chat her up a little bit beyond the normal pet stuff, but who are we kidding? anyways, at one point during this visit, i looked at big fat, brindle jessie and wondered, is my life turning into a real life version of garfield? where i have a crush on my vet who takes care of my slovenly, striped pet? this realization was about 60% amusing, 40% depressing.

what's yo man got to do with me?

this marks 2 weekends in a row that were a little more interesting and eventful than usual. yesterday we played basketball and lost to a bunch of 11 year old hustlers. saturday we went to bub's bbq and while it was a great time, i do have some regrets. the paragraphs coming up may become a little too personal and could turn into one of those situations where you are so embarassed for someone that it makes you embarassed...i dunno how it's all gonna come out....but just a warning that you might want to just skip this post. i guess it's not really thaaaat bad, but just maybe more than i should share publicly.
anyways...i drank at the bbq....kind of a lot. it started off with a 40 of steel reserve and continued with jungle juice and other beers. i dominated in flip cup to the point where it wasn't really fair any more. i got into some serious beer pong shit-talking with bub's crazy roommate who farted on another girl. i played some invented beach ball game with jill. i may have agreed to take kung fu with some guy with a strong southern accent. dave wanted to punch chris in the face. i somehow ended up scraping the knuckles on my left hand pretty good and i don't remember how. i got to see katie's apartment and she apprently made fun of my shoes. i won one game of dominos without playing.

i also spotted a girl...er well dave spotted her and said i should talk to her. i took a look and agreed. she was really cute and seemed cool. now here is why i need to find the right level of drunkeness. i was certainly socially lubricated, but was also an idiot. i did manage to talk to her some. i found out we have a similar fondness for freaks and geeks. i also know that she is going to grad school for something in education. i just wasn't focused enough and as the night went on, i think my comments to her got more and more non-sensical. either way, i couldn't have made a good first impression. due to my inebriation, i also really have no clue if she was interested as well and my self-defeatist style says doubtful.

i do hope that she was pretty drunk too. that could help me out some. the worst part though...i didn't even say bye to her when i stumbled out of bub's house...i know...
i remember her name and i hope to see her again at one of bub's future get togethers. where i will hopefully be a little drunk, so that i can summon the courage to really try to holla at her, but not sloppy drunk. i also have a lot of self doubt i guess and can psych myself out of these things. maybe she is dating someone...she probably is not interested...i don't know what to say...why am i so awkward?...etc. i know i need to be a little more positive and confident, but that can be hard to force.
so yeah, i am feeling like enough time has passed from my previous relationship that i should be trying to drunkenly hit on girls. it has been a long time since i have actually talked to a girl i was into and that in and of itself was nice. but i am realizing that for whatever reason (i like to think that it's because i have been in ltr after ltr) i have no game and need to improve my conversational skills...as well as upgrade my shoes apparently. at this point i even consider my pathetic attempts on saturday a success as at least i am making an effort. if i never see her again, at least i got a little practice and next time it will be easier. i look to my friends who after laughing at me, should give me some tips on trying to talk to girls or any other general girl advice.