i have many women in my life

i enjoyed posting my blog with my random instant message encounter. mainly cause i didn't have to really work on it, just cut and paste.

update: gullytodeworld and i did not become friends as i secretly had hoped.

anyways, i think this will be a new, regular blog post i will put together from time to time when i have ridiculous or funny or infuriating instant message conversations with either my friends or the occasional random person. i hope to include various convos with the people i talk to on the daily, so everyone should bring the funny or controversial. these will generally be unedited (unless it paints me in a particularly bad light).

today i was chatting with phil and we talked about the office. he sent me a link to the newish music video:

go ahead and watch it, it's amusing.

anyways, this led to discussing the girl who plays the new receptionist on the show and is in the video. new crush? i wasn't sure, but eventually concluded with a resounding boobs. i also saw this pic:

he then sent me an article she wrote in what became an ellie kemper barrage. anyways here was a portion of our conversation:

[12:58] kingkevin91: interesting
[12:58] turbo2oh: made me laugh
[12:58] kingkevin91: it was good
[12:58] kingkevin91: but didn't make me laugh
[12:59] kingkevin91: maybe if she read some of my blogs...she might get a better hang on comedic writing
[13:00] turbo2oh: apparently she wrote for the onion some as well
[13:01] kingkevin91: ok
[13:01] kingkevin91: well i will send her a message on myspace and see if she wants to go out sometime
[13:30] turbo2oh: cool
[13:30] turbo2oh: maybe a double date?
[13:30] kingkevin91: she said next friday the 13th
[13:31] kingkevin91: it's on
[13:31] turbo2oh: wow she accepted fast
[13:31] kingkevin91: yeah, she's prompt like that
[13:31] kingkevin91: i should know
[13:31] kingkevin91: since she's my new gf
[13:31] turbo2oh: wow
[13:31] turbo2oh: is she pregnant?
[13:31] kingkevin91: she just gave birth to our triplets
[13:32] turbo2oh: thats a lot of responsibility
[13:33] kingkevin91: yeah....
[13:33] kingkevin91: you're right
[13:33] kingkevin91: i might try to make a break for it
[13:33] turbo2oh: find a cheap copy of halo wars yet?
[13:33] turbo2oh: i havent played it awhile
[13:34] kingkevin91: let's quit beating around the bush
[13:34] kingkevin91: just buy me a copy already

a couple things to note....not our best effort, but this is what i had to work with today. also, it does a good job of illustrating my getting a little carried away with celebrity crushes, which i am confident everyone considers to be a charming aspect of my personality. finally, that last part about halo wars seems out of context and it was but i thought it also showed my willingness to be a team player.

i also want to add my other new crush, also on nbc thursday nights, aubrey plaza.

she & me? it could happen...

it's been a little while since my last post, although not nearly as bad as my slacker friends. today i wanted to mention my newest celebrity crush, zooey deschanel. i remember seeing her in elf and thinking she was really cute and had a nice voice. i don't really remember seeing her in a lot of other film roles, but i did kind of always remember her would hear her name every once in a while. well earlier this year, she joined up with m. ward to form she & him. they recorded what i am pretty sure is my favorite album of the year. here is there video for "why do you let me stay here?":



everything comes together so perfectly. the song is super catchy, zooey is looking ridiculously cute and the video itself is very fun. i think there's something particularly appealing about the expressions she makes and the little mannerisms she has in the video. also, how can you hate on that cowgirl outfit? adorable. now i realize she is more cute than celebrity-level hot. phil may complain about her non-latinaness. whatever. she just comes off very likeable, smart (i have no actual proof of this, just a hunch), not crazy and obviously talented. those aspects make her even more attractive to me.

i have held off on discussing my celebrity crush list that has cultivated over many years. it had escalated into an unweildy beast and i realize that it needs to be trimmed down to a more manageable 10 or 20. even with that, there's lori and then everyone else. welcome to everyone else, zooey.

melora hardin...i'll be diregardin'

i watched the office last night. this is one of my favorite shows on tv. while jenna fischer is one of my top celebrity crushes, there is another actress on that show that i have waffled back and forth on since the beginning.

melora hardin plays the ex boss and current girlfriend of steve carell's character michael scott. many of my friends know that i will get the occassional crush on an older woman (lori) and melora hardin instantly caught my eye. it's tough to pinpoint what it was that i found appealing about her, but i just knew that she was borderline on my list. i really liked the character of jan that she played on the office. i would see pictures of her outside of the show and she always looked hot.

at the same time there was something holding me back from full-on endorsing her and placing her on my list of celebrity crushes (which i will discuss in a future blog). she seemed like a very normal, smart, down to earth person. i read an article about her and found out she is also a professional singer! well that sealed the deal, she was going on the list and i would plan to induce eyerolls from louise as i explain my reasons why she was now crush-worthy.

that is until i saw her sing one of her songs off of her new cd on some late night talk show. now she has a great voice. that was not the problem. she explained her album to the host and how it was "very sexy" and witty, filled with innuendo, or something along those lines. i am not usually a fan when someone describes something they do as "sexy". it seems a little too self aware and presumptuous, 2 traits that i did not assume melora had. but i thought "she's pretty hot, maybe she can pull this off without my opinion of her sinking..."

here's her video. what do you think?



ugh. seriously? a song about a boy and his "cat"? hmmm...pussy is a boy's best friend? that sounds like a song idea a 12 year old would come up with...and then quickly realize it's not very good...and then become embarrassed that she thought of it.

kid's inner thoughts: ok...i want to think of a song that will make all of my friends crack up...hmmm, i got it...a song where i talk about cats...but then i start saying "pussy"! and how boys like pussy! genius! and how pussy likes to fiddle with his BALLS...of string!..ok that's kind of gross...and on second thought...that's a pretty obvious joke to make...hmmm....it's getting less funny to me by the second, that can't be a good sign...ok brain, let's forget we thought of that one...they can't all be winners...i feel sad inside....oh well, i am gonna go play with my bratz dolls and then videotape myself doing the souljah boy dance...

anyways, back to melora. this song is anti-witty, with the innuendo beating you over the head. i should submit my youtube video response "let me get my nixon up in you". maybe i shouldn't have had such high hopes. unfortunately she is no longer eligible to be on my list and i can never look at her the same way again...so disappointed...so very disappointed...