you are wrong. i am right.

everyone is entitled to their opinions and different people's takes on things can often be different or opposing. most people have strong opinions on politics and how we should be running the country and improving aspects of people's lives. i can understand how people from different backgrounds and experiences will have different opinions on how these things should be handled. but that is serious talk left for dan or phil's blogs. being not as smart as them, i will focus on pop culture and entertainment.

the main point of this post was to highlight certain opinions, that while technically subjective, go completely beyond any semblance of reasoning that i can understand.

just to say this up front, i am a documented hater. i tend to get a little elitist and carried away with certain opinions on stuff that is pretty inconsequential. with that said, there are certain examples of opinions that just make no sense to me at all. certain opinions at least have some sort justification. an example would be how my parents like jay leno. they think he is funny. they dislike conan o'brien and think he is just childish and annoying. i say this is justifiable because we are 2 completely different demographics. the generational gap can at least explain how leno's lame and hackey jokes could appeal to an older audience who just want their jokes to be safe and obvious. i still argue with them about it all the time, but i can understand my parents' view on the late night host comparison.
now onto the opinions that seem insane to me.

family guy
oh man do i hate this show. the jokes are formulaic, obvious, lazy and obnoxious. yet many of my friends who have shared similar experiences and also enjoy other similar things seem to love this show. 80's tv reference? hahahahahaha. shut up. repetitive nonsense till everyone laughs? i will end you family guy creator. one time i was having an argument about the show vs futurama (which i love). i decided to take it to the tv critic of the washington post, who was having an online chat. i asked her which show was better. her answer: "family guy. it's more subversive." what the fuck is that shit? more subversive...ugh. when i am strongly on one side of an opinion, i can usually count on the snooty critics to align themselves with my 2 cents. apparently not this time.

radiohead

i am a big fan of radiohead. the way i view their career is basically, put out generic early 90's alt debut album with a few decent songs. the next album was a huge jump creatively. the 2 following albums were amazing masterpieces. the rest that followed took a decidedly electronic turn and were excellent, but maybe not as immediately catching or accessible. i think this opinion is so clear cut and obvious that i just assumed that everyone was on the same page. apparently not dan and chris, think the first album was the best! really? it wasn't awful, but it's so obviously inferior to the rest of their discography that i was sure they were joking when they first revealed this to me. even the band itself admitted that, pablo honey, their first album, was rushed and not very good.

nbc thursday night

i still watch sitcoms. well, pretty much only the ones on nbc thursday night. it's a great lineup consisting of the office, 30 rock, community and parks and recreation. while everyone has varying thoughts on all of these shows, i think it's pretty safe to say that these shows are good and the rest of the offerings are bad (i think paul reiser is serving up another crappy sitcom to replace nbc's last failed sitcom). right? i am personally a gigantic fan of p&r and think it's the funniest show on tv by far. it's smartly written with great characters. amy poehler: great/amazing. aziz ansari: hilarious. nick offerman: should win an oscar. chris platt: always makes me smile. aubrey plaza: top 5 celebrity crush. there is a growing list of small characters inhabiting the town that people are now making comparisons to springfield. anyways, i was enjoying my thursday night stories when jill reveals to me that p&r is her least favorite of the shows. what was her favorite? outsourced. yikes. wtf? that show is all sorts of awful. i was left speechless and have now blown up her spot on my blog.

wow, this was a long and petty post, all about me complaining that my friends have different opinions than i do. i want to reiterate that obviously people should have differing opinions and like/dislikes, but some are so obvious to me that i am left confused and astounded when people similar to me disagree.

another problem with being short

man this blog has become whine central...although i guess a majority of blogs are. anyways, let me complain about how clothing companies discriminate against short people. unlike others who are height-challenged, i will readily admit to being short. i'm 5'8...er well at least 5'7 and definitely taller than dave. yes, i know this is short, but not ridiculously far from what i assume is the average height for men (i'm guessing 5'10). yet, when i tried to buy some new jeans yesterday, i find the shortest inseam (30) is still an inch or two too long for me. they have fucking 42 inch waists, but no 29 or 28 inch inseams? wtf? again, i admit to being short...but there are a lot of people shorter than me, and i feel that is ridiculous that i should have to special order jeans or have them tailored just so they can fit like they do on "normal sized" people.

as my friends know, i have always had abnormally large legs. this has been even further exaggerated with my recent weight lifting. so i already have a dilemma where my legs are too short for normal jeans, but now i either need to choose 32 inch waist that surprisingly fits my waist but makes my legs look like they are going to explode or else get 34 inch waist jeans that give my legs a little room, but then don't fit my waist.

i guess the point is, i am realizing that it is hard to find clothes that actually fit me correctly. is my body type that out of the ordinary? i feel that the short (but not super short) and fat (but not obese) demographic is not represented in clothing nearly as much as it is in our population. we are falling through the cracks and getting screwed over and i don't like it. in the meantime, i will be pulling up my pants high like an old person so they don't drag on the ground and i guess contemplating getting them tailored, probably doubling the cost of my jeans.

i want to do good, but i also want to complain

so if you read this blog at all, you probably get the sense that i am trying to make some general improvements in my life and part of that is being more giving and helpful. i have made some concerted efforts to help in areas that really strike home with me and i have also been more open to randomly helping people who ask for it.

although i have missed the last few events because i had other things going on, i have been volunteering as a runner for prince george's county spca. i obviously love animals and just thinking about animals needlessly suffering is very upsetting to me. i always have a good experience when i volunteer during their low shot clinics. i have met some nice people and a few weirdos, but overall, it is fun and i feel good about helping. now, let me complain a little. the clinic is half an hour away and i always get lost either going to or leaving there, and it is always a different way of getting lost. they have these events on sunday afternoons, which is when i would normally be watching football. overall rating of this experience - 9.5/10

a few weeks ago, i went to fuel up my car. as i step out of my car, an oldish man suddenly approaches me and asks if i have jumper cables. a few things flash in my head.

• we are at a gas station that has a repair shop...why wouldn't he ask them?
• it is fucking cold outside
• i have jumper cables, but i kind of have a bunch of stuff to do.
• he won't know that i have them in my trunk...i'll just tell him sorry, dude.
• wait...that is what my normal selfish self would do...
• just tell him you have them and can help.
• this could be annoying.
• oh well.

so i fill up my car and then turn it around to face his. i pop my hood and get the cables when i notice him vigoroulsy reading his car manual for his old as oldsmobile. i tell him that i have done this a few times and tried to remember what dave told me last time we jumped a car. he refused my advice and kept reading...for like 5 minutes. i just stood there holding the jumper cables, freezing my ass off and getting annoyed. eventually we try to jump based on the manual directions and it does not work. i just get out and set it up the way i knew how and voila! his car started. i began to unnattach the cables and leave...while still waiting for some sort of thank you. he kind of gives me this annoyed "thanks" under his breath. i leave feeling good about helping someone, but annoyed with that person cause he was an asshole. overall rating of this experience - 3.5/10

i had agreed to be part of a malaria study for the red cross since i had traveled to the dominican republic this year. last night i went and drove all over columbia looking for this building, when all of the buildings looked the same. i had to ask 5 different people for help and nobody seemed to know. finally i flagged down a fed ex delivery guy and he directed me to the building, which was a good 5 minute walk from where i was. when i got there they kept me waiting for a while and i definitely contemplated just leaving. they finally saw me and the blood withdrawal process was pretty quick, although i realize that i am not a fan of needles at all. i couldn't even look when they did it, even though i barley felt it. they will be sending me a $45 check for my time, which is nice i guess. i can start donating blood in june, which i will hopefully do. overall rating of this experience - 7/10

next up is my first meeting to volunteer for the special olympics. i am pretty excited about this, but based on the little annoyances and hiccups from my other efforts to help, i am going in with reasonable expectations. if if do end up going through with this, i could help coach athletes in basketball (i will be crossing them up left and right), bowling, weight-lifting or swimming. i have worked with people with special needs in the past and it is usually a good experience, but this will be my first time with this organization. one strike against it already is that this meeting is on sunday afternoon. i will keep my fingers crossed and complain about my experiences in a future blog.

just keep it to yourself, i am better off not knowing

i am not at all a vain person. i honestly do not think about what i look like very often. people like to joke about my muscles and my wearing tight clothes, both of which are severely exaggerated, but my goal is usually to just look normal and blend in with the crowd...beyond that i don't give it much thought and i generally walk around blissfully unaware. with that in mind it is always upsetting when i am out in public with friends and while trying to hold in their laughter, someone points in a direction and is like "hey look! it's kevin!" without even looking, my immediate reaction is negative, for i am well aware of what i will soon see:




see...i bet you fuckers are laughing already




it's one thing for someone to spot some beautiful ninja and scream "it's nam!" or be watching full house and asking out loud, "when did nick get the role of uncle jessie?" making those beautiful-to-beautiful comparisons are both amusing and not embarrassing to anyone involved. not so much when someone sees someone that i resemble.

now, even though i have been getting better, i know that i am not in great shape and am still a good 30 pounds overweight, but as i mentioned above, how i look is not usually on my mind, so when something like that is brought to my attention, it's a hurtful reality slap in the face. the same goes for photos. i have accepted that i am definitely not photogenic, but pictures cannot really be avoided. pointing to the other fat asian guy in the room and jokingly calling him my twin can and should be avoided by those who care about my mental well-being.

this little rant was not spawned by any specific event, but just a buildup over the years of slowly breaking me down until i get to the point of complaining and whining about it on my blog. so next time you see some guy that you think looks like me, and i also happen to be there, i ask that you contain your giggling, make a mental note if you wish and wait until i go to the bathroom or something before making the comparison known to everyone else.







cleaned-up nick? why not? no harm done.












nam. they're both elegant and they both fight.











i suppose i never noticed it before, but dave does resemble han solo, but it's cool, harrison ford is a good-looking guy.














seriously though...it's not cool.

why won't my friends blog?

when i am at work...i am often a very bored man. this has led to my reading waaaay too much about fantasy football. writing in this blog is a slightly more productive activity but i can only write so much...i'm just not that interesting. therefore, i crave things to read at work, even better if it's something written by someone i know...and even greater if my name is mentioned in it.
some of my friends have started blogs, but most have not really fulfilled their blogging duties, at least as far as my expectations go. dan blogs occassionally, but it is usually pretty nerdy. laura just started blogging and seems to have gotten into it, which i think is awesome. dave and louise, both of whom i believe could be very funny writers, started their blogs but those died quickly. ben blogs and rates things...it seems this is primarily anime. i know tobin has a blog...but it is not updated frequently enough and it is usually stuff that goes over my head. eskay had a videogame blog that seems to be retired. his posts were always funny...now he just needs to move onto a personal blog that will amuse me. phil who i think is especially funny in the written format suspiciously dodges my attempts to have him blog...like he's trying to bury some big secret. this leads to nam, who i have had many conversation with on blogging. his wife jess writes regularly in her blog that simultaneously amuses and frightens me. he has always claimed that he "doesn't blog". which is a little odd considering i stumbled upon this little web gem as well as this. nam is telling me as i write this that everyone else has seen these sites...i don't care. i'm going to expose the truth!

anyways this is a call to people to start blogging if you haven't yet, and if you currently are, do it more often. most importantly, make sure to include me in a majoirty of your entries. i mean seriously! where is alex's blog of insanity? where's sean's blog about trumpets...ok, i probably wouldn't read that one. how about louis' money-saving blog? or chris' "i always lose at madden" blog? my current amount of blogging diversions is not sufficient. blog.