Thursday, December 10, 2009

she walks forward and over and over and backward

in many ways jawbox really defined my musical experience as a whole during my high school years. sure, i got into grunge and liked hip hop and other stuff, but jawbox was really what i think of when i reminisce about the music i grew up on. i remember going to see them in college park with nick and i instantly connected to it. i was obsessed with the crazy beats and angular guitars with a bass player that we all crushed on. in about 3 years of being kinda of one of those annoying guys who was waay too into a specific band, i think i saw them perform live about 10 times. i have many memories from this era.
  • buying the jawbox chinese fork tie t-shirt i still wear today
  • being the brave one and approaching them to ask if they would come to see mftp play at the can-can
  • being up front and singing along at their shows like a dork, usually at the black cat
  • getting into many heated jawbox vs. fugazi discussions
  • getting a picture of a sweaty kim with me and ben flanking her
  • dan betsey emulating zach's beats
  • hanging out at the jawbox house while gss was recording with j and having kim show me some old video they had that aired on mtv like 2 times
  • being sad when i heard they would break up, but at the same time it kinda felt right
  • everyone in the band being really cool and nice
  • j looking like al bundy
i had read that they were rereleasing for your own special sweetheart and thinking i would have to get it. then i found out they were reuiniting on late night with jimmy fallon, which airs way too late for me, but with the magic of dvr i was able to watch it last night and it really brought a flood of memories and just made me happy. the show only had 1 song, but hulu posted 2 more. these probably won't be on hulu for too long, but for now enjoy. also note that they do not apear to have aged at all except that j has become less al bundy and more malkovich.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

sometimes hating leads to good ideas

[16:31] turbo2oh: i cant stand people at chipotle that always have to ask for more of everything
[16:31] turbo2oh: they usually dont need to be having more of anything
[16:32] kingkevin91: are you making a comment about their weight?
[16:32] turbo2oh: yes
[16:32] kingkevin91: zing!
[16:32] turbo2oh: this woman today asked for more cheese 3 times
[16:32] kingkevin91: haha
[16:32] kingkevin91: wow
[16:32] turbo2oh: and got more sour cream
[16:32] kingkevin91: sounds tasty
[16:32] turbo2oh: on a 'salad' one
[16:32] kingkevin91: well you gotta eat healthy these days
[16:33] turbo2oh: haha true
[16:33] turbo2oh: it just pisses me off cause they dont charge extra for it
[16:33] turbo2oh: and i know it drives up the base cost of everything
[16:33] turbo2oh: so i feel like im paying for it
[16:33] kingkevin91: you are
[16:34] kingkevin91: probably shouldn't fight it
[16:34] kingkevin91: just go with it
[16:34] kingkevin91: get enough extras to make 2 burritos
[16:34] turbo2oh: im a burrito bowl kinda guy
[16:34] kingkevin91: ok
[16:34] kingkevin91: pile it on
[16:34] kingkevin91: then ask for an extra bowl
[16:34] turbo2oh: i want enough sour cream i cant see whats below it
[16:34] kingkevin91: yeah
[16:34] kingkevin91: keep asking for more
[16:35] kingkevin91: like over and over again
[16:35] kingkevin91: maybe like 10 times
[16:35] turbo2oh: then ask if i can just have the container out of the steam table
[16:35] turbo2oh: and the giant spoon
[16:35] kingkevin91: and when they do it that 10th time
[16:35] kingkevin91: be like woah...
[16:35] kingkevin91: little heavy handed there aren't we?
[16:35] turbo2oh: haha
[16:35] turbo2oh: thats too much
[16:35] turbo2oh: maybe ask someone next to me if theyd eat that?
[16:35] kingkevin91: then be like, oh well, just give me another bowl, cause that shit is not gonna fit in one

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

pretty sure i'm due some royalties on that

pay attention to the lyrics at the 1:07 mark
[13:54] Eskay: haha oh shiz
[13:55] Eskay: song aint bad
this album is hot
[13:55] Eskay: aint bad at all like the beat
i forgot how good it is
[13:55] Eskay: did u listen to that dungeon family album yet? wasn't i tellin ya bout that
ah naw

i did get the bossman mixtape though
[13:56] Eskay: haha oh yea! see there ya go
[13:56] Eskay: whatcha think?
[13:56] Eskay:
is that dre?

[13:58] Eskay: yea
yeah, it's pretty good
[13:58] Eskay: they are basically the most famous of the dungeon family.
i'll download it
[13:58] Eskay: where u download this itunes?

sometimes amazon
[13:59] sometimes emusic
[13:59] and sometimes through other means
[13:59] Eskay: mhmm
what about you?
[14:01] Eskay: hm tough to say
[14:01] Eskay: i just i get it from round the way
[14:02] Eskay: mostly from cds
your cds?
[14:02] Eskay: well when i get the music yes
as in your property?
[14:03] Eskay: at said time

time to get back on track

i think it was around my birthday when i was actually starting to make some strength gains and lose some fat. this momentum was short-lived and i have since lost some visible muscle and gained back a bunch of body fat. i'm sure most people don't really notice and just look at me regardless and think, that guy is short and stocky, both back in early september and currently. but when i look in the mirror, i notice.

while i can only truly blame myself, there have been some external factors that have caused some admittedly avoidable roadblocks, but roadblocks nonetheless. i went on a trip where i ate a ton of bad food. i also joined a kickball league, which meant tons of drinking and eating out in the middle of the week. on top of that, i managed to severely injure my ankle, as i have done about 4 other times in my life, during the final kickball game. being an idiot, i kept on playing and as a result, could not put any pressure on it for the next 2 days, hopping around like lisa turtle during the dance competition.

this ankle injury has left me with another sad realization, in that 2 weeks later it is still not even close to being 100%. when i injured it in high school i was running around without issue 2 days later. this was definitely a good marker for aging and could be a seemingly insignificant moment i wistfully look back on 20 years from now as when i truly realized i was no longer a kid. i am already imagining this being one of those injuries oldies bitch about hurting just cause the weather changed...ugh.

anyways, the swelling has gone down and is still there, but much better. my range of motion is slooooooowly returning. i can walk without any sort of limp, but can't really even jog on it without a few sharp pains. overall, i would put the ankle at about 70%.

i am anxious to begin reversing the doughification that has been going on with my body the last 10 weeks and while i certainly need to get my diet back on track, getting back to the gym will help keep me motivated and just feeling better as a whole. so i am thinking tonight is the night. i should be fine with most exercises and will generally ease my way back into the swing of things, hoping to do about 70% of what i had been doing prior. i am most concered with squats and power cleans. i hope my ankle and foot are stable enough. i hope i don't reinjure it. i hope i don't get sloppy, turn it a weird way, get a sharp pain and collapse under the bar. i just have to put my ego aside and be cautious in my return to the gym.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

jellyfish are the key to a women's heart

ok, i'm straight bloggin! not once, twice, or even thrice, but whatever the version of 4 is, posts in one day.that's definitely a record and i must be extra slackin at work. anyways this final post of the day discusses an ongoing debate/joke i have been having with an unamed friend. a while back he was discussing purchasing a new hd tv for his bedroom. he already has a tv, but he seemed to "need" high definition and that it would really "bring his room together" and "be enticing for the ladies". i of course arbitrarily decided i was against this idea and decided i would find some other purchase that would be a better use of his money.
after some internet searching i discovered a pretty sweet looking neon jellyfish tank. since i am an expert in all things female, i explained to said friend how telling a girl in a house party type atmosphere "hey, i have a sweet looking neon jellyfish tank up in my room. wanna check it out?" is a lot more interesting and unique than saying "i got a big, flat tv in my room. want to watch it?"
what do you think? am i right or am i right? if you are a girl and are reading this, you are not single, but remember back to those good ol' days....which approach would work best?

roommate updates

nickie moved out this weekend and is off to live in the firehouse where she will not have to pay rent. i rarely saw her, but we always got along well. although, on the day she was moving out, i was outside when she was loading up a truck when she exclaimed an amazing comment, "holy shit your hair is long!" i'm pretty sure there's not a better indicator for how infrequently we saw each other than that statement. anyways, i wish her well and i'm sure i'll see her at mcginty's or whenever dave forgets to turn the stove off.

and so with the leaving of nickie, comes the move in of jill, which has already gotten off to a humorous start. first of all she wanted to move in before nickie was moved out. then she had tried to plan out moving things from her casa rivetti as well as some other house that she was buying furniture from. it somehow involved 3 cars, various unnecessary trips, people switching vehicles and just a whole lot of nonsense that made it seem like we were pulling off the thomas crown affair. she had also come up with various floorplans for her room which i found amusingly unnecessary.

anyways, with jill i am expecting various things:
  • we'll see her way more than nickie
  • cleaner house
  • family dinners
  • movie making
  • her and brodie fighting
  • choreographed dances
  • i will be judged for watching too much tv/playin too many videogames
  • rivetti cheapness
  • all of the nasty sweet liquors will finally get drank
  • house band!

we never thought we'd find a place where we'd belong

dave will be finishing up school in about 1 month and with it, get his degree as well as enter the highly competitive job market. while discussing possible careers we happened upon an idea that would use his linguist skills. he might have to pitch this idea to some sort of government agency, but i think it would be warmly received.

the premise would be that dave would go undercover in laurel high school and pose as the newly transferred "bad boy". from there he would infiltrate the school's underbelly and begin associating with the powerful gangs. he would use his charm to gain their trust and really study and analyze the current slang used in the various drug trafficking, gang wars, robberies, etc. he would compile his data and report back to the various law enforcement agencies or whoever he would narc to.

i suppose television has taught us that there is also the likelihood that dave gets in too deep, gets caught up in the lifestyle. like the moment they want to make sure he's for real and have him smoke crack, pound on some nerd or mug an old lady, he gets a taste of the criminal life and finds that he likes it. who knows? what do you think of this idea?

another video that made me smile

even though i just shared this with some people online and it appears to be over 2 years old, this video made me happy. also check out the million dollar baby one.

Friday, November 13, 2009

i have many women in my life

i enjoyed posting my blog with my random instant message encounter. mainly cause i didn't have to really work on it, just cut and paste.

update: gullytodeworld and i did not become friends as i secretly had hoped.

anyways, i think this will be a new, regular blog post i will put together from time to time when i have ridiculous or funny or infuriating instant message conversations with either my friends or the occasional random person. i hope to include various convos with the people i talk to on the daily, so everyone should bring the funny or controversial. these will generally be unedited (unless it paints me in a particularly bad light).

today i was chatting with phil and we talked about the office. he sent me a link to the newish music video:

go ahead and watch it, it's amusing.

anyways, this led to discussing the girl who plays the new receptionist on the show and is in the video. new crush? i wasn't sure, but eventually concluded with a resounding boobs. i also saw this pic:

he then sent me an article she wrote in what became an ellie kemper barrage. anyways here was a portion of our conversation:

[12:58] kingkevin91: interesting
[12:58] turbo2oh: made me laugh
[12:58] kingkevin91: it was good
[12:58] kingkevin91: but didn't make me laugh
[12:59] kingkevin91: maybe if she read some of my blogs...she might get a better hang on comedic writing
[13:00] turbo2oh: apparently she wrote for the onion some as well
[13:01] kingkevin91: ok
[13:01] kingkevin91: well i will send her a message on myspace and see if she wants to go out sometime
[13:30] turbo2oh: cool
[13:30] turbo2oh: maybe a double date?
[13:30] kingkevin91: she said next friday the 13th
[13:31] kingkevin91: it's on
[13:31] turbo2oh: wow she accepted fast
[13:31] kingkevin91: yeah, she's prompt like that
[13:31] kingkevin91: i should know
[13:31] kingkevin91: since she's my new gf
[13:31] turbo2oh: wow
[13:31] turbo2oh: is she pregnant?
[13:31] kingkevin91: she just gave birth to our triplets
[13:32] turbo2oh: thats a lot of responsibility
[13:33] kingkevin91: yeah....
[13:33] kingkevin91: you're right
[13:33] kingkevin91: i might try to make a break for it
[13:33] turbo2oh: find a cheap copy of halo wars yet?
[13:33] turbo2oh: i havent played it awhile
[13:34] kingkevin91: let's quit beating around the bush
[13:34] kingkevin91: just buy me a copy already

a couple things to note....not our best effort, but this is what i had to work with today. also, it does a good job of illustrating my getting a little carried away with celebrity crushes, which i am confident everyone considers to be a charming aspect of my personality. finally, that last part about halo wars seems out of context and it was but i thought it also showed my willingness to be a team player.

i also want to add my other new crush, also on nbc thursday nights, aubrey plaza.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

...but i've seen everything

as my readers probably know, i am a pretty big star trek fan and my previous attempt at fan fiction should prove that. ok, so maybe not enough of a fan to know most of the characters or ever watch the show or movies, but that's not the point. i did not see this newest star trek offering that had all the nerds going nuts like paul wall does with the internet. everyone seemed to think it was a good movie, so i do honestly want to see it.

the problem is, i clearly am not gonna buy this movie. i would normally try to netflix it, but i know the waiting list for this dvd will probably be ridiculous. this leaves me with some options to decide on. one of my nerd friends will buy it and either a) bring it to my house and let me borrow it, so i can watch it at my leisure, b) bring it over and if it is convenient for me, we can watch it together on my tv, or c) if someone does something dumb, like buy it on blu-ray (chris), then i guess i can come over to watch it at their house, but i will not let them know when. i will just show up and throw a huge temper tantrum if either a) they are not home, or b) they don't feel like watching it then or c) are home but busy. if either b or c is the case, then they can always just let me borrow their blu-ray player which i will then take home, watch the star trek movie and either a) pretend like i never borrowed it, b) sell it on craig's list, or c) this was really dumb, but everyone is home for veteran's day.

Friday, October 30, 2009

these teams better not suck

my interest in football, both real and fantasy never really took off much this year and has since become quite the afterthought for least compared to previous years. now the the nba season has begun, it has really squashed my football spirits, well, that combined with my fantasy teams sucking and no longer being a redskins fan. so the wizards are looking real promising, as long as everyone stays healthy. even though i no longer have comcast so i can't watch wiz games, i have been enjoying random games this first week on espn and tnt. i would even consider ordering the nba package, but i already watch too much tv. one of my favorite podcasts, the basketball jones is back.

Ep. 457: King and Captain? from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

chris and i joined a random keeper league that looks like it could be fun. it is another crazy 16 teamer that made for us unprepared owners to have to scramble quite a bit in the later rounds. i ended up with what i think is a solid and promising team with holes, but i can work with it. some of players include deron williams, jason kidd, nene, trevor ariza, aaron brooks, marc gasol, and blake griffin (who is out for 6 weeks, ugh). i definitely have some regrets, but that's just the way it's gotta be sometimes. i enjoy fantasy basketball so much more than football, which i know makes me weird. i enjoy that there are games everyday so there's always a little something to follow or read about the next day. as opposed to the sunday overload that is football.

although i planned to just do one league, like i did last year, i couldn't pass up the chance to play with eskay's crew. this is gonna be totally different as it is an 8 team league, which really levels the playing field, and negates my experience as i think most of these guys have never played. it should be fun to be in a league with people i know since all of my friends decided they didn't like it.

i know you're gawking at my weird-ass doesn't matter, cause i'm on kevin's fantasy squad!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

whatever you do, avoid meadowbrook

so today some random instant message popped up from somebody i don't know. after steve and katie both seemed against it, i decided to go ahead and respond and here was our conversation:

[15:57] gullytodeworld: wam girl
[15:58] kingkevin91: who is this?
[15:59] gullytodeworld: your mother man
[15:59] kingkevin91: ah snap
[15:59] gullytodeworld: that fuck her last nite
[15:59] kingkevin91: nice
[15:59] gullytodeworld: who de fuck is u
[15:59] gullytodeworld: i dnt no u
[16:00] gullytodeworld: are ur call name fuck up\
[16:00] kingkevin91: what?
[16:00] kingkevin91: you started talking to me
[16:00] gullytodeworld: yes fuck face
[16:00] gullytodeworld: i did
[16:00] gullytodeworld: u have a prob with tht
[16:00] kingkevin91: nope
[16:00] kingkevin91: do you?
[16:00] gullytodeworld: becuz i can come up in meadow brook
[16:01] kingkevin91: ahh
[16:01] gullytodeworld: n we hcan fight it
[16:01] kingkevin91: not meadowbrook!!!
[16:01] kingkevin91: anywhere but there
[16:01] gullytodeworld: right there
[16:01] kingkevin91: anywhere else
[16:01] gullytodeworld: right there
[16:01] kingkevin91: somewhere else?
[16:01] gullytodeworld: i will fuck u up for my girl
[16:01] kingkevin91: i barely touched her
[16:01] kingkevin91: i apologize
[16:02] gullytodeworld: fuck u n ur apologize
[16:02] gullytodeworld: i dnt need tht
[16:02] kingkevin91: fine
[16:02] kingkevin91: i take it back
[16:02] gullytodeworld: becuz i fuck ur girl for 10,000$
[16:02] gullytodeworld: yesterday
[16:02] kingkevin91: that's a good deal
[16:02] gullytodeworld: yes
[16:02] gullytodeworld: she say u dnt fuck her gud
[16:02] kingkevin91: i know, that's messed up, right?
[16:03] gullytodeworld: yes fuck face
[16:03] gullytodeworld: look i comin there nw with my boy
[16:03] kingkevin91: ok
[16:04] gullytodeworld: so look out for we
[16:04] kingkevin91: i will
[16:04] gullytodeworld: i comin at lot 122
[16:04] kingkevin91: meadowbrook, right?
[16:04] gullytodeworld: yes
[16:04] kingkevin91: wait, what time?
[16:04] gullytodeworld: rite there
[16:04] gullytodeworld: nw
[16:04] gullytodeworld: we in a red car
[16:04] kingkevin91: how about in like 10 minutes
[16:04] gullytodeworld: no
[16:04] kingkevin91: ok 5
[16:04] gullytodeworld: we comin nw
[16:04] kingkevin91: 5 minutes it is
[16:05] gullytodeworld: so run for ur fat cuzin
[16:05] kingkevin91: he's sensitive about his weight
[16:05] gullytodeworld: ok
[16:05] gullytodeworld: kein is akeem dnt run for no one
[16:05] gullytodeworld: as yet
[16:05] gullytodeworld: lol
[16:06] gullytodeworld: kevin
[16:06] kingkevin91: noted
[16:06] gullytodeworld: lol
[16:06] kingkevin91: so red car
[16:06] kingkevin91: meadowbrook
[16:06] kingkevin91: in 15 to 25 minutes?
[16:06] gullytodeworld: na
[16:06] kingkevin91: 45 minute
[16:06] kingkevin91: maybe an hour
[16:06] gullytodeworld: in 298days
[16:07] gullytodeworld: lol
[16:07] gullytodeworld: u is a ass
[16:07] kingkevin91: haha
[16:07] gullytodeworld: wat goin on
[16:08] gullytodeworld: it ok
[16:09] kingkevin91: you got me mixed up with another kevin
[16:10] gullytodeworld: no g
[16:10] gullytodeworld: this is akeem
[16:11] kingkevin91: i don't think we know each other
[16:11] gullytodeworld: ok
[16:12] kingkevin91: but that was good times
[16:13] gullytodeworld: yes

now the question is, should i maintain this new found friendship?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

i kicked ball

tomorrow marks the conclusion of my first season of kickball. it has been interesting. i am not sure what i was expecting (hot single girls all over me), but overall the experience was good. this was mainly due to the fact that it gave me something new to do and it led to a lot hanging out with eskay and chris but not so much the girl part.

our team was not good. i believe we are 1-4-1. i certainly had my share of mistakes and am not the greatest athlete, but i was one of the best players on the team if that gives you any indication of how bad our team was. we had the mercy rule called on us twice in one game. steve and i have collided twice while attempting to field fly balls. but whatever...that was not the point of kickball. i joined to have fun and meet some new people and to party. our first game seemed to indicate good things to come as almost every girl on the team was extremely hot. we lost that first game in what would be a preview of what was to come. postgame, chris, steve and i were ready to hit the is kind of the rule with kickball. guess who went to the bars that night? me, chris and steve. that shit was busted.

throughout the season, we managed to get various parts of the team to go out, but realized that they were all a tight group of friends and we were the strangers they were not really trying to include. some were friendlier than others, and a couple of people have actually been making efforts to include us more, which is nice. there has been a severe lack of flip cup which i experienced going out with steve's other team and was what i kind of thought was just the norm. not so much.

eskay and i kind of picked 2 girls who we thought were both hot and single to possibly focus our attention on. my girl who i will not name but refer to as the ice queen is hot (and to be honest, way out of my league), but she has never exactly warmed up to me. she has separated the boys from the girls twice now when we've gone out to the bars. last week i found out she had a boyfriend and met him. i was just telling queen's bf was normal and seemed like a nice enough guy....but seriously, fuck that dude. i should have serenaded her.

steve's girl is certainly more friendly, but she hasn't really been showing much interest. i guess at least they didn't string us along and make us think we might have had a chance. they've been very clear through their actions. again, the team has been nice, but sort of like, we're all stuck here together, so we'll be polite and sort of half-ass drinking and hanging out. one couple has invited us to a halloween party, but i think it's cause they kinda feel bad for us and not because they really want us to attend. so that doesn't seem like a good prospect. what this all means is that tomorrow we will say goodbye. i will make out with the ice queen and then never see any of them ever again. only to be left with memories and possibly material for a book about kickball.

for the spring season, steve and i have been discussing joining a saturday league, starting a new team on our current league, and possibly me joining his current thursday league. that's a lot of kickball. hopefully there will be more social, single and realistically hot girls to reject me. we'll see. as of now, i am ready for this to be over and get back to my regular schedule, going to the gym a little more frequently, not drinking in the middle of the week and getting more sleep. i have fallen way off the with my health and fitness. i'm sure, come march, i will be ready to give it another go or 3.

Monday, October 26, 2009

first time seems like a success, but i'd still rather put noodles in me

this weekend, dan and laura had a get-together at their place and we drank a lot of pumpkin beer, played poker (2nd place) and hung out. the real interesting highlight was my first foray into the world of acupuncture. after exclaiming that massages "don't do shit", allison was generous enough to offer to stick me with needles to help alleviate some relatively serious shoulder/trap/neck pain i was experiencing from lifting. i completely disagree with her stance on massage and soft tissue work. i have found they help speed recovery, increase mobility and just improve your overall well-being. that said, i kept my mouth shut in order to give acupuncture a try. i am pretty ignorant on acupuncture and other forms of eastern medicine, but i am in no way a skeptic.

as with any new experience that involves needles and potential pain, i was a little anxious, but i didn't show it, cause i am tough stough like that. i realized quickly that the needles that were piercing my hand did not hurt, except for the one in my palm (that later bled)...that one was kind of a bitch, but nothing too bad. she also moved them around, which seemed like an awful idea, but i suppose that's part of the deal.

while i sat their defenseless with needles stuck in my hands, people made it a point to mess with me, pretending to flick the needles, slap me in the face and make fun of me. this led to a recurring theme for the night of everyone busting on me for no real reason, but i shall save that for a future therapy session.

i did not experience the pronounced tingle or sensations that allison reported many people having. i did notice that my shoulder/trap/neck area that was previously hurting when i made an overhead press motion (raising the roof), was now feeling pretty good. i wouldn't say it was 100%, but significantly better. doubters said i was experiencing a placebo effect, which i suppose is possible as well, but either way, i felt better and was glad i gave it a try. the real test will be when i go to the gym in a few hours and try some heavy clean and presses.

here's a video of me clean and pressing 365 a few weeks ago:

Friday, October 16, 2009

short of murdering dan snyder, this had to happen

after years of threatening....i think i am finally at that point. mark it down, i am no longer a redskins fan. i enjoyed the 80's and some of the 90's. my dad is a skins fan, so i followed suit. and when i think about it, it's his conviction to remain a fan that i was both impressed with as well as what had me barely holding on as a fan for the last 5 or so years. i know die-hards like steve will shake their heads disspointingly, but hey, that's just the way it's gotta be sometimes.

now i am going to be making some poorly thought out points, throwing out questionable statistics and possibly fabricated quotes, but my main argument is the redskins are no good and the reason for this is one man, dan snyder. fuck that guy! seriously...what a fucking tool. as you might be able to tell, i have a lot of anger and extreme hatred directed towards this ass. i'm sad that becuase of this baby murderer, i will no longer get to enjoy sundays with my dad like i used to.

look, as a former redskins fan, i know the issues. besides the very obvious racial slur of a team name, protected under the guise of it being historical or tradition or whatever, this team has had a constant ceiling of mediocre and floor of awful. being bad is ok. i am ok with that. it's how you deal with it that makes a difference. see how good teams build through the draft? well how about we say screw that and trade away our draft picks for over-rated or past-their-prime "star" players? i admittedly fell for this throw money around to win plan and boy was i wrong. i realized this, how come wonder boy couldn't? and when we do somehow have draft picks, we don't use them wisely. we had 3 second round picks 2 years ago. any normal gm would address the biggest need which is/was an aging o-line with no depth. what do we do? draft 2 wr's and a tight end that have done jack shit. this team continues to pull stupid move after stupid move and that is why we gave the lions their first win in almost 2 calendar years. we don't have a gm. just an incompetent team president that is basically danny's yes man.'s so irritiating...glad i'm done with them.

snyder loves the attention of the flashy signing. his love of big names continues with coaches. and when he went on to sign a nobody, he hired him first as offensive coordinator and then promoted him head coach when nobody else would touch that job. cause people have come to realize what a dysfunctional organization this is. now zorn is now on the hotseat and while he hasn't been a great coach, it's hardly all his fault, but snyder probably doesn't see it that way. he apparently wanted mike shanahan, but when shananan said he would only do it if he had control over player personel, snyder balked. because he and vinny have had such a great track record building teams. i was being real sarcastic in that last sentence.

another bad aspect is that this isn't a bad coach or qb or gm, where you just have to deal with it for a little bit, but you know they will soon be out of a job. this is the owner. and even worse, he's like 40 years old! also, the redskins are like the most profitable team in the nfl! so he's never gonna sell and he'll probably own then for the next 40 years. at least with other shitty owners (al davis) they will be dead soon. there is light at the end of the tunnel for those fans. not so much for those poor redskins fans. maybe one day i will come back, but it would have to take something drastic....not just a good redskins team.
so that leaves me a man without a team....unlike dan, my fellow ex-redskin fan, i cannot just jump on the ravens. something about that doesn't feel right. i can't pick another nfc east team either. i also would not want to pick one of the best teams in the league as i am no fair-weather fan nor do i want a team with a huge national following. and i hate the patriots. so what does that leave me with? i don't mind picking a bad team as long as they are learning from their mistakes and building for a better future.

possible new teams going from west to east
  • 49ers
  • texans
  • lions
  • dolphins
what do you think?

i can do this....

in the past i would kill this super mutant with i will steal his wallet
fallout 3 was one of my favorite video games i played this year and probably the first game since gears of war 1 that i had any interest in replaying once i completed the story. i let nam borrow it for a while and i just got it back a little while ago. i decided to restart the game and play it differently, as i simply ran straight through the story without dealing with any side quests.

the first time i played through i of course was extremely good and made choices and decisions in the game that match my natural bleeding heart tendencies. i was always giving water to thirsty people, helping children, always using the polite choice in the conversation path and never stealing or pickpocketing. i was basically the angel that i am in real life.

now i have put in a few hours into my new character that kinda looks like me with a beard and i am again decidedly good. i did not detonate the bomb in the middle of megaton and have not been stealing. i have made my new character less soldiery and more sciency. but i am wondering what i am missing being a goodie-2 shoes. i wanna be bad, but, and this is gonna seem real lame, i feel bad for the npc's. i get wrapped up in the game and don't want to shatter lives. my empathy is powerful and far reaching.

i ran into this same issue when i played mass effect. i would start acting like an ass and people would start crying and responding like, "how could you say that? all of those innocent people's lives are at stake..." then i start crying (me, not my character) and restart the game before i acted cruelly.

so i am gonna give being bad another try. i figure...i am so good and moral in real life and video games are meant to be an escape and to essentially live another life. i am excited about the prospect of being evil and all that goes along with it. i just need to man up and not be affected by the suffering i will cause, cause many will suffer and suffer badly...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

yeah, yeah...i know

it has been quite a break but i cannot quit this blog. life has been a little eventful since august....i guess. not really, but for my own personal record when i reread this things years from now, i will be like oh yeah, i remember when i said i that that movie was ok. here are some quick hits as best i can recall:

  • went to the beach with dave, chris, michele, jill and dan and we all stayed in a one econolodge room...good work on that dave.
  • went back to the dragon's tail. stayed in a sweet house. saw anders pass out in a crouching/praying position. went to my first indian casino. traveled the underground lake with a tour guide with some sweet jokes.
  • joined a kickball team with steve and chris. our team is no good (currently 1-3-1). the single girls on the team are hot as balls, yet cold as ice.
  • still doing special olympics and am starting to take more of a leadership role. the big competition is on mt st. mary's 7am...ugh.
  • jessie loves brodie.
  • i changed my oil for the first time ever.
  • fell down the outside stairs at brewer's art. the bouncer said it was a "graceful fall".
  • beach hawk/the fruity boys
  • still nowhere near where i want to be in-shape wise.
  • been enjoying hanging out a lot with steve, froilan and jevon like we're back in towson.
  • became pretty good friends with katie.
  • i have 2 money fantasy football teams, one in 1st place, one in last, they both suck.
  • nickie is moving out. who will move in?
  • still don't know how to talk to girls.
  • had a better time at renfest than last year. drank and ate a ton.
  • saw jim gaffigan with louise and her parents.
  • a trainer at my gym said i had freakish leg strength, while another gigantic man was impressed with my 395 lb dead lift.
  • we no longer get fx and i now have to watch it's always sunny in philadelphia on hulu on an 8 day delay.
  • got the trx.
so that's what i can remember. here's potential stuff coming up:
  • dan's birthday party
  • no plans and no potential costume.
  • zip lining
  • trying to go on a trip soon...a real trip
  • reconsidering learning some mma...but it's so expensive, although the physical challenge is appealing, plus it would be nice to know how to fight
  • work on getting out of rut
  • planning on joining more social sports, hoping we have a more inclusive team
  • ravens-broncos
  • need to explore my creative outlets more....write some songs, stories, paint, beatlab, etc.
  • dave's gonna
  • need to pick a new football team to follow...may blog about the awfulness of snyder.
  • wizards' season is about to start...cautiously optimistic.
  • learn how to drive stick that's enough for now and it covers what i've missed blogging about in a very glossed over way. i am more or less caught up and can start blogging again in excruciating detail and with a cringe worthy whiny tone about thoughts or occurrences.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

my internet video presence needs some serious work

this past weekend was chris' 31st birthday and we went out to silver spring for dinner and drinking. well while we were out a girl was looking for someone to dance with. all of my married friends pointed to me, being the single guy in the group. although, i usually avoid dancing to crappy cover bands on completely empty dance floors, i felt pressured, combined with my new "fuck-it" approach to life, i agreed. i am not a good dancer and the song was not a fast or slow song, so it made everything pretty awkward. so of course everyone watches and laughs and even videotapes it for what i can only assume will end up on the internet, much to my chagrin.

this made me pause and think. that video and the video of laura slapping me are basically my only video presence on the internet. so basically, in all videos of me online i am just getting straight clowned. that just does not sit well with me and i think i need to do a little pr work to improve my image on the web.

phil suggested i get someone to start filming candid video of me doing good deeds and then acting embarrassed that they "caught me". and that i should go on about how i don't do it for the positive attention, that i just like helping people and it's kind of just become an everyday type of thing...or even a way of life. either way, here are a few potential things i could do:
  • give money to the homeless
  • help protect an elderly woman from a mugger (played by a friend who wears a ski mask)
  • rescue a dog (jessie) stuck in a tree
  • push a kid out of the way of oncoming traffic
any other ideas? help me out.

this also all goes along with sort of a new lofty goal of creating some sort of viral video. obviously it will take a lot of trial and error and some serious luck, but i figure it will at least yield something funny to me. my hope is it is a viral video that shows me in a good light and not something that is thoroughly humiliating and briefly makes me the laughing stock of the country.

so hopefully it's not so much this:

and more along the lines of this:

who wants in on this? come holla at your boy.

happy birthday lolo

dearest lori,

45 years ago today, the world was given one of the sweetest gifts my love for you started back around age 9 where your beauty caught my eye in the criminally underrated film, rad. everyone who knows me is familiar with you being my all time #1 celebrity crush. maybe one day i will meet you and stare in shock, not being able to talk, but that day will surely be the greatest day in my life. though you may be half way to 90, your beauty knows no age and quite frankly you put most 20 something celebrities to shame. i will end this creepy blog post now before things get even weirder, but i just want to wish you a happy birthday!


kevin loughlin

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

28 days laura

laura and i have discussed having a horror movie marathon, which appears to be a go for saturday afternoon. i am definitely more of the scary movie connoisseur (my initial attempt at spelling that word was way off) and sent laura an initial batch of already on-hand movies we could choose from. after some e-mailing back and forth, we wittled the list down to the following:
  • descent
  • quarantine
  • high tension
  • them
  • the orphanage
what i noticed was that laura was vetoing anything involving zombies. i'm glad i know that she is scared of zombies. not that i plan on using that knowledge in any sort of antagonistic way, but it's nice to stockpile as much potential arsenal as possible. either way, i am still lobbying to include 28 days later, since they are not technically undead. anybody else have any other good horror movie suggestions?

i also realize that we cannot possibly watch all of these movies since watching a dozen hours of nonstop tv can't be healthy, but we also have chris' ufc 100 party to go to. realistically we are looking at 3 movies, so hopefully we choose them wisely. i am looking forward to laura getting scared and me laughing about it.

it also crossed my mind that this could be a nice setting for some serious dance slap payback, but i'm thinking it's too soon, and i guess the fact that i am writing about it proves that i won't actually slap her. or will i? i won't.

Friday, June 12, 2009 here's what happens on the moon

riker and captain kirk are huddled around the space computer, typing away. spock enters the room and slowly creeps up behind them, surprising both by placing his hands on their shoulders. riker exclaims "ahh!, don't do that! you creep that shit out of me when you siddle up like that." spock changes the subject and inquires about what they are working on. "we are just working on our final report on what actually happened on the moon. we're almost finished and space headquarters should receive it in about 20 minutes." explains kirk.
spock ponders this for a moment before deciding that shq is better off not knowing the horrific blunders occured on the moon. "kirk..." spock offers, "wouldn't you like a bagel right now? imagine it...all hot and crispy on the outside...warm and soft on the inside. you can use that delicious veggie cream cheese...spread it real thick...mmmm...just think about" without saying a word, kirk propels himself backwards on his rolling space chair and darts out the room to the enterprise kitchenette.

spock now focuses his attention on the tougher to crack riker. "look, i know what you're trying to do. it won't work on me, because we have to let the world know what happened on the moon. a lot of fucked up shit went down and if we try to ignore's just gonna get worse. way worse. i mean...can you believe that that alien-" spock interupts, "i left some klingon porn in the den...nobody's looking..." his eyes dart back and forth like he's on the lookout, "nobody's judging..." riker barks back..."whatever...i'm not into that stuff....if anyone would know that i would expect it to be you!" spock ashamedly looks away. spock changes gears and explains, for every 10 seconds that riker remains in the room, he will be removing an article of clothing. riker points out "but you're only wearing a one piece jump suit..." spock counts down "3...2...1..." and with surgical precision, is completely nude. riker can't handle it anymore and leaves the room. spock deflty alters the contents of the report and retitles it "the moon: nothing out of the ordinary".

another problem with being short

man this blog has become whine central...although i guess a majority of blogs are. anyways, let me complain about how clothing companies discriminate against short people. unlike others who are height-challenged, i will readily admit to being short. i'm 5' well at least 5'7 and definitely taller than dave. yes, i know this is short, but not ridiculously far from what i assume is the average height for men (i'm guessing 5'10). yet, when i tried to buy some new jeans yesterday, i find the shortest inseam (30) is still an inch or two too long for me. they have fucking 42 inch waists, but no 29 or 28 inch inseams? wtf? again, i admit to being short...but there are a lot of people shorter than me, and i feel that is ridiculous that i should have to special order jeans or have them tailored just so they can fit like they do on "normal sized" people.

as my friends know, i have always had abnormally large legs. this has been even further exaggerated with my recent weight lifting. so i already have a dilemma where my legs are too short for normal jeans, but now i either need to choose 32 inch waist that surprisingly fits my waist but makes my legs look like they are going to explode or else get 34 inch waist jeans that give my legs a little room, but then don't fit my waist.

i guess the point is, i am realizing that it is hard to find clothes that actually fit me correctly. is my body type that out of the ordinary? i feel that the short (but not super short) and fat (but not obese) demographic is not represented in clothing nearly as much as it is in our population. we are falling through the cracks and getting screwed over and i don't like it. in the meantime, i will be pulling up my pants high like an old person so they don't drag on the ground and i guess contemplating getting them tailored, probably doubling the cost of my jeans.

Monday, June 8, 2009

data will make it all better

With the meeting adjourned and the plan set for in place for tomorrow's time travel, Data heads back to his favorite spot to perv on the girls whilst showering. He walks by some of the space cabins and notices a clearly bummed out Wesley Crusher. Data inquires, “What seems to be the problem, teenage human?” Wesley turns his face away to hide his tears and blurts out “Nothing.” Data knows something is up and offers, “I just got a new bag of Jelly Babies with your name on” “That won't help...but I will take them. Look, you wouldn't understand anyways. It's a girl problem.” Data acknowledges with a non-judgmental head nod. “You see, every time I meet a girl, it never gets past the space dance floor. They always tell me that I'm not...that I'm not...sigh... funky enough.”

Data responds, “Oh hale naw! You ain't goin out like that! Look, I know you can bring the funky. It's definitely inside of you.” Data confidently strides over to the space boombox and pops in his space tape of DJ Kool. The music starts up and Data grabs Wesley's hands and pulls him up to his feet. Standing side by side with DJ Kool starting, “Let me clear my throat!”, Data insists “Watch me and mimic.” “Step to the left”, Data steps to the left. “Step to the right”, Data steps to the right. “Now just shimmy those shoulders and swivel those hips, like this!” The young Mr. Crusher watches and takes mental notes, but doesn't have time to be shy as Data just grabs his hand and makes him find his funky. After a few moments of awkward, unsure movements, Data insists “OK, new plan, just close your eyes and let the funky find you.” As he closes his eyes, Wesley begins to let go and let the funky take over. Before he realizes it, he is dancing and dancing funkily right along with Data. They are having a grand time and Wesley's confidence grows exponentially.

i need to find my inner slater

because i know all of you care about my ongoing saga of being lame and single, i will note another evening out i had this weekend. saturday night i went to this bar that had ping pong tables with chris, bub, jill and bub's roommate nora. we ended up playing with this group of 3 cute girls. bub invented a game that allowed all 8 of us to play across 2 tables. i was next to the hottest girl, who jill described as a prettier lisa turtle and who i thought sort of looked like christina milian.

anyways, she was really cool and funny and we chatted a bit, often high fiving paddles when we got a point for our team or else when she successfully defended the abyss. either way, the night was set up pretty well for me to make a relatively low risk attempt at getting her number:

  • i came with a group of people, boys and girls ( i feel like arriving in a mixed group like that seems less creepy and desperate)
  • she smiled at me quite a few times
  • i didn't say anything incredibly stupid
  • we had a sweet play where she popped the ball up off her arm and i slammed it for the point
  • there were not a lot of other guys around trying to compete for their attention
  • i was not drunk at all (no liquid courage to make me not a pussy)
  • she was way too hot for me (obviously)
  • the bar closed too early, i feel like another round of abyss ball and i maybe (probably not) could have made a move
oh well, another weekend, another regretful lack of trying. this has to stop and i need to man up. i don't know what i am so worried about. so what if she says no? it wouldn't be that big of a deal. i feel like i should have gone through this stuff when i was much younger. i also need to find the right balance of drunk. not be 10 drinks in, nor completely sober. i was the driver that night, so that is part of my excuse, but i think my friends are gonna have dd for me so that i can get moderately drunk...say 5 drinks?

another interesting note was that i wore my sambas after dave's gf made fun of my shoes last weekend. 3 different girls commented on how much they liked my shoes..granted 2 of them were jill and nora, but still...i'll take it. anyways, next week will be a different story, hopefully.

(i was looking for video of the episode where lisa breaks her foot and wins the dance contest at the max with screech but couldn't find it.)

Friday, June 5, 2009

spock is kinda turning into a serious a-hole

the story continues. if i loser it up this weekend, then i will have time to really dig into this story and makes some progress. for now, here is what i just wrote in the last 10 minutes. as usual, and i will stop asking and just know it is assumed, but please leave any feedback in the comments.

Most of the crew, well at least all the major movers and shakers were sitting around the buffet table, enjoying their meals (in space pill form) and trying to listen to Bones yammer on about his plan. Kirk has already dozed off and Spock was making threatening facial gestures towards Jordy, who unlike Scotty, knew better than to escalate matters. The plan is complicated and Bones isn't even 100% sure it will work correctly. “Basically, if my calculations are close enough, then it should work. We all need to enter the reactor pods completely nude...” explains Bones. Whoopi cackles “Oooh child...I bet you would love that!”. Clearly disturbed, Bones tries to continue his explanation. “Anyways...once in our assigned reactor pods, I will remotely activate the centrifuge. Once it begins, the pods will release space gas to put us to sleep. The spinning will eventually generate 88 metric tons of space pressure per space meter. That magic number, combined with the reverse osmosis will send us and the ship exactly 2 months back in time so we can easily pretend like we are not feeling well and avoid the moon mission.” At this point, Bones is essentially talking to himself. “I should have just let that bear eat me that one time...” he mumbles to himself. Picard, realizing that Bones has finished with his little presentation, stands up, yawns mockingly and declares “Ok everyone, let's just do what poindexter here says and -” Chekov interupts “But sir, doesn't this all seem a little risky? It's just a week. We'll all be fine after that.” Picard's face and voice suddenly take a more serious tone. “You little shit. Do not ever interrupt me again! Do you realize who I am? I'm the motherfuckin cap'n son! You mess up like that again, and my Vulcan buddy over here will make sure your screams can be heard in outer space.” Chekov glances over to Spock who is flashing a fucked up joker smile and is licking his lips. Chekov nervously agrees “I'm in. Let's go..back to the future...uh I mean past. Spock please stop staring at me. I'll be good now.”