you are wrong. i am right.

everyone is entitled to their opinions and different people's takes on things can often be different or opposing. most people have strong opinions on politics and how we should be running the country and improving aspects of people's lives. i can understand how people from different backgrounds and experiences will have different opinions on how these things should be handled. but that is serious talk left for dan or phil's blogs. being not as smart as them, i will focus on pop culture and entertainment.

the main point of this post was to highlight certain opinions, that while technically subjective, go completely beyond any semblance of reasoning that i can understand.

just to say this up front, i am a documented hater. i tend to get a little elitist and carried away with certain opinions on stuff that is pretty inconsequential. with that said, there are certain examples of opinions that just make no sense to me at all. certain opinions at least have some sort justification. an example would be how my parents like jay leno. they think he is funny. they dislike conan o'brien and think he is just childish and annoying. i say this is justifiable because we are 2 completely different demographics. the generational gap can at least explain how leno's lame and hackey jokes could appeal to an older audience who just want their jokes to be safe and obvious. i still argue with them about it all the time, but i can understand my parents' view on the late night host comparison.
now onto the opinions that seem insane to me.

family guy
oh man do i hate this show. the jokes are formulaic, obvious, lazy and obnoxious. yet many of my friends who have shared similar experiences and also enjoy other similar things seem to love this show. 80's tv reference? hahahahahaha. shut up. repetitive nonsense till everyone laughs? i will end you family guy creator. one time i was having an argument about the show vs futurama (which i love). i decided to take it to the tv critic of the washington post, who was having an online chat. i asked her which show was better. her answer: "family guy. it's more subversive." what the fuck is that shit? more subversive...ugh. when i am strongly on one side of an opinion, i can usually count on the snooty critics to align themselves with my 2 cents. apparently not this time.

radiohead

i am a big fan of radiohead. the way i view their career is basically, put out generic early 90's alt debut album with a few decent songs. the next album was a huge jump creatively. the 2 following albums were amazing masterpieces. the rest that followed took a decidedly electronic turn and were excellent, but maybe not as immediately catching or accessible. i think this opinion is so clear cut and obvious that i just assumed that everyone was on the same page. apparently not dan and chris, think the first album was the best! really? it wasn't awful, but it's so obviously inferior to the rest of their discography that i was sure they were joking when they first revealed this to me. even the band itself admitted that, pablo honey, their first album, was rushed and not very good.

nbc thursday night

i still watch sitcoms. well, pretty much only the ones on nbc thursday night. it's a great lineup consisting of the office, 30 rock, community and parks and recreation. while everyone has varying thoughts on all of these shows, i think it's pretty safe to say that these shows are good and the rest of the offerings are bad (i think paul reiser is serving up another crappy sitcom to replace nbc's last failed sitcom). right? i am personally a gigantic fan of p&r and think it's the funniest show on tv by far. it's smartly written with great characters. amy poehler: great/amazing. aziz ansari: hilarious. nick offerman: should win an oscar. chris platt: always makes me smile. aubrey plaza: top 5 celebrity crush. there is a growing list of small characters inhabiting the town that people are now making comparisons to springfield. anyways, i was enjoying my thursday night stories when jill reveals to me that p&r is her least favorite of the shows. what was her favorite? outsourced. yikes. wtf? that show is all sorts of awful. i was left speechless and have now blown up her spot on my blog.

wow, this was a long and petty post, all about me complaining that my friends have different opinions than i do. i want to reiterate that obviously people should have differing opinions and like/dislikes, but some are so obvious to me that i am left confused and astounded when people similar to me disagree.

whatever....don't judge me

in continuing with today's theme of places a little north of maryland, i wanted to mention my excitement for the return of jersey shore. i guess it's equal parts, excitement, shame and lowered expectations. i really got into the show last year and i have spent a little time trying to figure out why it appealed to me. i don't act like the people on the show and if i met them in real life, i would probably want nothing to do with any of them. yet, i am compelled to watch the show and thoroughly enjoy it.

it's possible that the blatant girl-chasing/partying/completely selfish ways that the shore people live by speaks to some buried away part of my sub-conscious. or maybe it's just fun to laugh at ridiculous people and fist pump along. it's mindless television at it's best. let's see...what else?

• jersey accents are fun(ny)
• the situation is a quote machine
• awful house music
• t-shirts tighter than mine
• romantic shenanigans
• nicknames/new terminology
• assy mtv editing

there is also something fun about being interested and involved in a pop culture phenomenon, where you can feel everyone collectively buzzing about it. i know this season won't be the same and as the characters get more popular, visible and self-aware, it will lose it's luster quickly. i am also aware that this show might be garbage and the people involved are awful in so many ways, but i will allow myself to get excited and look forward to watching the premiere in a few days. we might even try to make another run at a jersey shore party...who knows?

"Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation."

"There's no way I'm going to Jersey without my hair gel. Can't leave without my gel."

"If you're not a guido then you can get the f*ck outta my face."

"Yo, I mean, this situation is gonna be indescribable, you can't even describe the situation that you're about to get into with The Situation."

"He's a really good guy. That's the kind of guy I need in my life. I think his name is Ron."

"She just doesn't want to feel like a trash bag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with her tongue."

"I'm gonna break it down dancing, I love the beats, I got my creepy patent move."

"You better be hittin' the gym and if you're not hittin' the gym for like an hour or so, you know, you may have a problem. Okay, cause I'm at the gym for like an hour-and-a-half... ya know? Workin' on my fitness."

"We're beatin'-up-the-beat, that's what we say when we're doing our fist pump. First, we start off by banging the ground, we're banging it as the beat builds 'cause that beat's hittin' us so we're fightin' back, it's like we beat up that beat."

"Pauly D. was with the grenade ... When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you, so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first."

"Yo, Pauly D has a little situation on his hands... she's definitely a stage 5 clinger."

"It's obvious that Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten."

jellyfish are the key to a women's heart

ok, i'm straight bloggin! not once, twice, or even thrice, but whatever the version of 4 is, posts in one day.that's definitely a record and i must be extra slackin at work. anyways this final post of the day discusses an ongoing debate/joke i have been having with an unamed friend. a while back he was discussing purchasing a new hd tv for his bedroom. he already has a tv, but he seemed to "need" high definition and that it would really "bring his room together" and "be enticing for the ladies". i of course arbitrarily decided i was against this idea and decided i would find some other purchase that would be a better use of his money.
after some internet searching i discovered a pretty sweet looking neon jellyfish tank. since i am an expert in all things female, i explained to said friend how telling a girl in a house party type atmosphere "hey, i have a sweet looking neon jellyfish tank up in my room. wanna check it out?" is a lot more interesting and unique than saying "i got a big, flat tv in my room. want to watch it?"
what do you think? am i right or am i right? if you are a girl and are reading this, you are not single, but remember back to those good ol' days....which approach would work best?

clear eyes, full hearts, hot girls, can't lose

guess what nerds? the current second best tv show is finally coming back for it's 3rd season. friday night, nbc, 9pm est. be there and check out girls like this:
i'm just sayin...she's like the 3rd hottest girl on this show.

you gotta pay the troll toll if you wanna get into this boy's soul

last night was the conclusion of the 4th season of what might be my favorite television show of all time. it's always sunny in philadelphia has been a shinning beacon in a world of mediocre to awful television programing. i love this show so much i don't know where to begin. it's concept is simple: 4 self-centered friends and the dad of 2 of those friends all own a bar in philadelphia and hijinks ensue.

i was gonna go through all of the characters and break stuff down, but i assume most people are familiar with this show and i will instead focus on my favorite dynamic of this show and why i think it works:

the combination of dee and charlie (my favorite character) is dynamite. dee is arguably the most normal and least self-centered member of the group, while also serving up laughs for being pathetic with her hopeless dreams of making it as an actress. she always seems to start off as the dissenting voice of reason before she is quickly sucked into the mindset of the rest of the gang. charlie is the wildcard of the group and is constantly angry and screaming. he is extremely excitable, has an unrequited love for a waitress that he stalks and is illiterate but refuses to admit it. together they have excellent chemistry and are my favorite combination on the show. here are some of my favorite clips of their interactions from this season.

dee wants charlie to walk in her shoes and experience her efforts to perform standup comedy:


charlie also wants dee to experience what being charlie is all about:


dee and charlie realize they may have developed an unfortunate hunger:


while trying to create viral videos, charlie comes across dee's secret video diaries:


charlie explains to dee what makes an internet video popular (i think i got it. i think i got it.):


are these two headed for emmy territory? don't get me wrong...i love all of the characters, but these 2 are my favorites and their powers increase exponentially when combined. anyways, their 4th season ended last night and they went out with a bang. charlie wrote a musical about dayman as a ploy to ask his stalkee to marry him. the songs were brilliant as were the conflicts:



so who else loves this show? do you agree with my contention that the biggest strength of the show is the charlie/dee combo?

my initial impressions of the new xbox dashboard

yesterday xbox introduced the new dashboard. the 2 main aspects of this update that interest me are the creation of avatars and the streaming of netflix watch instantly movies.

while the avatars are a clear ripoff of what nintendo did with the wii, i applaud microsoft for taking a look at competing products, finding what works and then improving upon them and adding it to their videogame experience. you know who does not do this? sony. the ps3 was released a year after the 360, and because of the fact that the ps3 and 360 are very similar machines that market towards the same type of gamer, you would assume that sony would say ok, microsoft has created a very fun online experience that's easy to use. they also have added gamer achievement points which all the nerds love. maybe we should incorporate this into our machine. they did none of this with the year they had and decided to make a shitty online experience combined with no overall gamer scores or achievement system. is america getting revenge on the japanese for taking our cars and making them much better?







nice try sony....but i still don't think you're getting it.









sorry, that was kind of a rambling rant that went nowhere, but it just amazes me that people that are making decisions do so with such stupidity at times. back to the new dashboard. i made my new avatar which i tried to make look like me. the result was a skinny asian guy with hair i used to have 10 years ago. not that i wanted to make my avatar look fat, but i don't think that us huskier guys really get represented well in these types of things. so, unhappy with my avatar, i decided to just be silly and not make him look like me. i gave him bunny teef, a heart on his cheek and johnny bravo hair. his wardrobe was described by louise as that of a competitive equestrian. you can see his face on this blog if you scroll down to my gamer profile. 5 minutes after i created my avatar, ben sent me a message saying how super assy it was. whatever.

i also tested out the netflix service. i am a big fan of netflix in general and was excited to hear about its inclusion in the xbox. setup was a breeze and within 2 minutes i was flipping though my watch instantly queue. this adds a lot of movies to my watch whenever i'm bored library. there are some pretty good titles like no country for old men and seasons of 30 rock. there are also a lot of questionable titles that could be fun to watch. the video quality is ok. it's certainly not hd, which i think is due to my tv's lack of hdmi input. it shows the video in widescreen format, so a slightly blurry picture is acceptable to me. another little nitpick is that you can't add new movies to your queue from your xbox. you have to do it from your computer. there is no limit to how many movies can be on your queue, so i spent the afternoon adding anything i might be remotely interested in seeing. i ended up watching 30 minutes of the day of the dead remake starring mena suvari and ving rhames. it was quite shitty. i thne changed it up for more the family-friendly the gameplan starring the rock. i didn't finish it either, but it was at least sort of enjoyable.

as netflix adds more titles to their watch instantly library, this feature will be used more and more by me. while not perfect, i am happy with how this worked out and i give the efforts my netflix and microsoft a solid b grade. hopefully this helps netflix continue to grow and i can buy their stock starting tomorrow and be along for the ride.

this addition to my home entertainment repertoire also opens up a recurring question/issue for me. am i getting closer to canceling cable? i am already trying to watch less tv and i hate how comcast charges so much money. i currently have a lot of dvd's, netflix one dvd out a time, plus now netflix watch instantly. throw in an hd antenna and maybe a media center pc that will show videos from hulu on my tv and i think i could easily get by. after all of the fees and taxes this could end up saving me at least $80/month. now i just need to convince louise.

9021(clever pun)

i had been excited about the rebirth of beverly hills 90210 since i remember it as an amusing show 15 years ago. many of these memories might be slightly whitewashed, but it was more or less a guilty pleasure/so bad it's ironically appealing. the act of remaking this show alone might not have been enough for me to intentionally watch it. once they announced lori loughlin was on board, i was as well.

i did not have high hopes in that this show would be of good quality, but the piece of shit i watched last night was more or less unwatchable. i have pretty low television standards, but this was pushing it. the only redeaming aspects of the show are lori (obviously) and lucille bluth. after about 10 minutes, i stopped paying attention and only looked up at the tv occassionally when lori was making the screen glow with her smile. the problem is, the show is using her all wrong and has her more or less covered up when she is a lot hotter than any of the 25 year old high school girls on the show.

this makes me think even more fondly back to the days of steve sanders. if they start putting lori in a bikini, i will return. overall, this show was 9021no good.

remember tv funhouse?

i have found memories of a short-lived television show, tv funhouse. this was the brainchild of genius robert smigel who is responsible for triumph the comic insult dog, the tv funhouse shorts on snl and many other retarded things. i really love triumph, but this show, at least as i remember, completely outclassed anything else smigel has done.

the basic premise was a kid's variety tv show hosted by an affable and alcoholic host. initially it would seem like a vanilla version of peewee's playhouse, but this show clearly took things to another level. first off, the show was very animal-centric, which i always appreciate. there was an absurd pairing of live animals interacting with puppet animals. the show was on long ago enough that i am having trouble remembering specifics. i also find it very odd that i never hear about this show anymore...it seemed destined to live on forever as a cult show.

i searched youtube and found this clip:

that's all i could find. seriously? how did this not make it on to dvd...because i think the general public is ready for it and it would be quickly embraced.

i do have one specific memory that since i have not lost it yet, will probably be with me forever. it was a 5 minute sketch of all of these animals acting like people, eating in a restaurant. of course there was the obligatory mix of live animals interspersed among the puppet animals from which most of the dialog was coming from. anyways, the focus is on one table consisting of recurring characters on the show. they are all having a normal conversation and then order their meals. one character, which was a lobster ordered the lobster...which seemed pretty ridiculous to me at the time...but whatever...i was along for the ride. the conversation continues and then all of the meals are presented. all of the animals start chowing down and the lobster just kind of looks at his plate of lobster and nonchalantly requests a doggy bag to take his food home. the rest of the animals kind of shrug their shoulders and get back to eating. the lobster quickly and nervously takes his doggy bag and leaves the restaurant. next shot: it shows the lobster having sex with the dead lobster that he ordered for dinner.

...and i will leave it at that. these were the types of messed up things that occurred on this show that made it hard to watch and awesome at the same time. i hope to see it on dvd soon.

television of 2007

i am trying to write this on a day when i am actually busy at work. also, this serves as the last of my best of 2007 lists as well as my last planned blog idea i had remaining. therefore i will try to keep it short to appease those of you who have trouble reading my long and boring posts. (update: warning, although i put this together very hastily, this blog did not end up being short)

shows that i liked

kid nation

easily my favorite reality show of 2007. i have written a lot about it before. i find reality kids much more natural and much less irritating than reality show adults. laurel, alex, sophia and jared were great...taylor and mike...not so much. that's right taylor...you're getting hate via me...i guess you're going to have to realize what is happening and accept the situation.



the office

very funny show with large and funny cast. i have a serious crush on jenna fischer (who also happens to be an avid reader of this blog!)



30 rock

equally as funny as the office and it helps that they schedule these shows right after one another. tracy morgan and alec baldwin are hilarious. dave thinks tina fey is hot.



the ultimate fighter

i have also blogged about this show. while i don't totally agree with the format of the show (show more fighting, less house drama), it is mma. it was particularly fun watching matt serra get the better of matt hughes through most of the show. his hughes impression was spot-on.



friday night lights

it's too bad not many people are watching this show, because it is kind of genius. not that i have ever spent any time in small town middle america or texas for that matter where football appears to be a big part of life, but everything about this show is about as perfect as you can get. incredible acting, writing, cinematography....it all comes together and shame on you for not watching. seriously, this show gives me goosebumps every week. plus there's tons of hot girls in it...to the point where it makes dave hesitant to watch it.


late night with conan o'brien

i go to bed much earlier than i used to, but i know this is my favorite late night talk show. conan and his writing staff are always ridiculous. i would also add the daily show along with conan in that i know it is quality and funny, but i just rarely see it.

good eats

while i can pretty much watch anything on the food network, certain hosts annoy me...and no, i'm not talking about ray-ray. either way, alton brown's nerdy science + cooking show is always fun and informative.

i decided not to include shows i didn't like in that i really didn't watch them. but i know that grey's anatomy, family guy, desperate housewives, big brother, that charlie sheen show, that jim belushi show (is it even still on the air?), and the real world are all shows i despise and will be better if i never see them again.

what do you think? was i way off base? did i miss anything? comment!

state of television

i watch a lot of tv. i don't have a ton of shows that i love...and yet i still find myself watching a lot of it. this is besides the point. the issue i am currently thinking about is this writer's strike and how it affects my television viewing. i have read up on the issues surrounding the strike a little, but am in no way knowledgeable on any of it. (ir)regardless, as a fellow writer, i side with the writers. ok obviously i cannot put myself in the same category as the s.a.g writers since i think my writing is generally awesome 100% of the time. also, i still have it rooted in me that i am for the people and against the big evil corporation (or whatever entity), so i had really chosen sides before i knew anything about it.

so yeah, i guess the strike is serious stuff....but as i mentioned before, in the kevin-centric blog, i wanted to discuss how this affects me. i have 3 situational comedies that i truly enjoy.

• the office (version americana) - they stopped showing new episodes at least a month ago and with it they leave a gaping hole in my comedic heart
• 30 rock - there is apparently one episode left where i can be amazed by the crazy stuff that comes out of tracy morgan's mouth
• it's always sunny in philadelphia - their season is over and they were unaffected by the strike

there is only one dramatic show that i love.

• friday night lights - this is the show that nobody seems to be watching...but it's so good that i would watch it even if connie britton wasn't in it...well i think they also have one more episode left...and with their shitty ratings, who knows if it will ever come back...

late night shows are also affected. while snl is usually lame, it was generally a decent diversion if wasn't doing anything else. last night most of the late night talk shows came back after about 6 weeks of being off the air. conan and letterman sported the strike solidarity beards. i saw a little of conan's show and it was funny, if not a little more awkward, but equally retarded. didn't watch leno, but i heard he's in trouble with the guild. apparently, the hosts could perform, but couldn't prepare any material beforehand. they had to just make it up as they went. lamo admitted to writing his awful schtick before the show. he's so fucking lame. bwe.tv summed it best:

Late Night talk shows returned to the air waves last night, with Conan O’Brien and David Letterman demonstrating their “Guildy Consciences” with two very impressive strike beards on display. Jay Leno, however, refused to grow a beard, as it disguised his single recognizable feature: Having no sense of humor.

so now what does that leave me with? you guessed it...reality tv! i am a little ashamed by my enjoyment of certain reality shows. i get real excited when american idol starts airing. i believe it was last season where i was introduced to the yellow-shirted singer/entrepreneur flawless, who i thought was awesome. instead of enjoying the office and 30 rock, tonight will be the premiere of the apprentice. while the apprentice has been lame since the second season, this season the players will be "celebrities". while it looks like the use of "celebrity" to describe these contestants is very liberal, tito the apeman ortiz is on the show. and while i am not particularly fond of him, he actally seems pretty smart and i guess i will be rooting for him...at least initially. upcoming we also have the new american gladiators with mma beauty gina carano.
hopefully the writers' strike will be resolved soon so i can get the most out of my tv viewing. in the meantime, i think these reality shows will help ease the pain. we'll see.

even now, i'm pretty sure i can race helltrack

referring to how a 12 year old version of me would interact in kid nation got me to thinking about stuff that i was into when i was a kid. thinking back on my interests, say 1990 and earlier, i have no regrets. below i have detailed 2 of my favorite movies and 2 of my favorite tv shows from back then.

rad

i don't know what to say about this movie, other than it was the coolest thing in the world to me for a long time. it introduced me to the celebrity love of my life, lori loughlin and it had cool bmx bike moves. i think i was into that kind of stuff back at age 9, even though i had no idea how to do any of those tricks. i remember renting this movie probably around 10 times and enjoying it every time. a few years ago i managed to purchase an unauthorized version of the movie on dvd, which came with the soundtrack! talk about a deal! below is the bike dancing scene that will be etched into my memory forever. the graceful lori performing incredible stunts on her bike, managing to bike-dance with cru jones...it brings nostalgic tears to my eyes. and anyone trying to say that that is really a stuntman...haters.


teen wolf

a great movie that balances both the whimsical side of teenage life along with the very serious social issues that young adults must deal with as they grow up. it has 5'2 michael j fox on the high school basketball team, styles the awesome best friend, some hot girls, crazy parties, a wolf playing basketball, a bad guy named nick and general zany hijinks. note the inclusion of an awesome, upbeat randy newman-esque song. i would also like to recall watching louis film nick and dave reenacting the scene where teen wolf discovers he is a werewolf...that scene ended with both of them not being able to handle their shit and had dave army crawling across my kitchen floor. anyways, for all you fucking nerds who love back to the future, i think that after watching the clip below, you all will agree that teen wolf is a 10 times better movie.


small wonder

another in a line of media that reflected the current political climate in the united states, this situation comedy blurred the lines between general fiction and surrealism. some dude who i think was an inventor, managed to create a robot girl, named vicki, who then served as the family's maid. she looked just like a girl, but because she was a robot, she had robot strength, robot speed and robot sensibilities. the mom in the show would ask "vicki, can you please pick up the house, it's getting dirty..." vicki would respond in her robot voice "affirmative, picking up house." using state-of-the-art special effect wizardry, she would then proceed to actually lift the entire house into the air. hahahahaha...here's some clips that make me laugh:


perfect strangers

the ol' fish out of water tale retold in hilarious fashion. balki bartokomous travels to america in search of a better life. he ends up staying with distant co0-zin, larry appleton. since balki is from the fictitious island of meapos, general traditions and accepted behavior is foreign to him. but he also has a lot to teach the high strung and neurotic larry. it's an odd couple that brings the funny every week on abc's legendary t.g.i.f. lineup. when in a social setting, to find out who's down with the strangers, ask if anyone knows how to do the dance of joy. i particularly recall an episode where balki bakes a special dessert from meapos called bibibopkas, that, get this, explode if they are not made correctly!


i guess the thing with these shows and movies is that i still enjoy them to this day. for the most part, not in an "ironic, haha, these are so lame they're funny", but in authentic enjoyment and fondness for them. what were some of your favorite shows or movies from back in the day? why did you like them? did you also enjoy any of the above? comment!