another video that made me smile

even though i just shared this with some people online and it appears to be over 2 years old, this video made me happy. also check out the million dollar baby one.

you can't take me anywhere

i had that keeper draft on saturday and while some things went well i left with intense feelings of regret. this is a league with louise's stepdad, gary, and a bunch of his friends, most of whom probably have not spent much time around asian people. that's not to say that they weren't friendly or welcoming but many were older guys that one might consider slightly redneckish. at least that was my initial impression and assumption, which really didn't turn out to be valid. now i am already pretty shy around people i don't know, so with all of my own assumptions and stereotypes, i started off the evening a little guarded. knowing gary, who is such a great guy, i shouldn't have prejudged all of my leaguemates like i did.

well the draft went really well. i was very happy with most of my choices, with other guys usually complimenting my picks or jokingly cursing me for stealing the guy they wanted. there were some characters there. after a few shots of makers mark, i loosened up, realized everyone there was cool and i felt totally comfortable. that's where the problems began. often times when i drink, i can get a little mouthy. i start going off on subjects that i may or may not have any business talking about and it is obnoxious. when the subject of smoking comes up i get into extreme hypocrytical mode and start lecturing to these guys that they need to quit. these are guys that have been smoking for longer than i have been alive and for some reason i go off on them and think that i can suddenly change their minds. extremely obnoxious...i know.

i of course continue to drink and i discuss various subject with anyone that will listen to me. we talk about politics (i know, i know...). i don't recall how it comes up but someone talks about arm wrestling and i of course cannot resist talking shit/boasting, so i declare something like "arm wrestling??? shit...i'll run the table right now!" of course i end up arm wrestling and just generally being an asshole.
after the arm wrestling i am drunkenly coming to the conclusion that i am shooting my mouth off and acting a fool. i begin to apologize to these guys that i just met. they, being very nice guys who can handle their liquor are of course telling me that it's no problem and that i'm fine. well once i get an idea in my head where i think that i am being obnoxious/asshole/etc. i can't shake the thought. so i keep on apologizing, thus probably annoying people even more.

so i leave the draft with a great team, but feeling particularly embarrassed and ashamed by my behavior. i do hope that they don't think much of my drunken tomfoolery and that there was no harm done. louise keeps telling me that it's a complete nonissue, but i tend to obsess and dwell on stuff like this. at next year's draft i will only drink beer.

a surprise turnaround

after bitching and moaning on this blog about all of my fantasy misfortunes, i have somehow managed to make the playoffs in 3 out of my 4 football leagues. the particularly surprising turnaround was in the league with some friends where i was in 11th place out of 12 teams going into this week's games. well everybody who i needed to lose lost and i managed to nab that 6th place spot. in fact, i had been reviewing the rules and the ongoing games from sunday and realized yesterday that i had a real shot at getting in. thus i went ahead and initiated a conversation with laura in an attempt to get her hopes up....only to crush her!!!

me: hey laura...looks like you're playoff-bound!
laura: nah, i don't think so...team banana hammock is gonna win his game and he will take the last playoff spot
me: nope, he's done for the week...he's already lost...you're basically a shoo-in for the playoffs...you're gonna beat chris (in my head i pretty much knew chris' qb drew brees was gonna blow up against atlanta)
laura: yeah! you're right! woo-hoo!
me: yup, enjoy the playoffs laura (smiling menacingly)

why do i do these things? i guess i am kind of a jerk...also, i feel like laura tends to take great pleasure when something unfortunate happens to me, or if she beats me at something. i have no specific examples of this, but it's a general vibe of our friendship i guess.


ring! ring! this just in, you're not going to the playoffs.


don't look sad, there's always next year...maybe your secret strategy will work then...


so of course chris ended up winning and i got the last playoff spot. i attempted to instant message her this morning to rub her face in my playoff afterbirth, but she did not respond...i don't think i will press my luck...also, i write this feeling safe in that i know laura is not one of the three people (myself included) that reads this blog. now i have to face off against her brother eskay who will undoubtedly smash my team like i smashed laura's playoff dreams.

in other news in that league...

phil posted a humorous discussion board comment on how his team got screwed by dan's haphazard setup of the league...and also noted that dan is conveniently on a road trip as all of this playoff drama unravels. basically, the league was set up with 2 divisions, which was a change from previous seasons, thus allowing the highest ranked team from each division to get a first round bye. phil's complaint is that while he has the same record as nam, and more total points scored, nam's team won the game they played each other, thus winning the division and gets that first round bye.

here's my take on that situation. i got into the playoffs!!! hahahahahahahah!!!! oh and well phil has a valid complaint in that this was clearly not the ideal way to set up the tie breakers...but these rules have been around since the season started. he had a chance to complain then. next year i am willing to serve as league commissioner as long as i have certain requirements met:

1. we do an auction draft
2. people at least consider an auction system for free agents (trust me, it won't be difficult...i would end up doing the work...also it adds some strategy and it is fair)
3. no divisions in the league
4. i get an automatic playoff spot
5. assisted tackles get counted
6. no more lame people that quit on their teams...i am perfectly fine with an 8 team league if that's all we can find
7. we never use flea flicker again...that shit sucks
8. championship is week 16 not 17

in fantasy basketball news...my team has turned it around...sort of. bosh is back! but now peja is hurt and i am going to be lacking in the 3's category. i kind of want to drop him at this point, but i know that's the type of move that i will quickly regret. my team won last week, catapulting me back up to the #2 position in the league. i dropped andray blatche for the second time this season. he and haywood are eating into each other's stats too much. although i like blatche much more, i decided to keep haywood over him since he is technically the starter. i might eventually drop him too though. i picked up kirk hinrich who is seriously slumping, but i can't believe someone dropped him...i am confident he will pick it up and start giving me 15, 7, and 5 with some 3's. so things are looking up for the west laurel cogs. i am losing this week so far, but it just started, and i only had 2 players play last night. also, arenas seems to be ahead of schedule in his recovery...i can't wait for him to get back.

the ikea jerktopus