october roundup

there is no central theme or topic for this blog entry. in fact i believe it will comprise of a lot of random, unconnected thoughts and observations i have had recently. maybe i will break down in some sort of categorical headings.

fantasy sports

ah yes, everyone's favorite blog topic. fantasy football is going on and i really am as uninterested in it as i can remember. my big money team is stacked, undefeated and will surely make me slightly richer by the end of the year. my friends league started off well, but has slowly been getting worse and worse each week, with my first defeat occurring this past weekend. i think things are pretty much downhill from here on out, but again, i don't really care that much about it for some reason....

maybe that's because fantasy basketball is about to start! chris was the only one brave enough to venture into the crazy 16 team league i joined and while i was not prepared at all for the draft, i think my team should be decent. one problem is my team is lacking huge upside rookies, which is something that i love but is also often times my downfall. we shall see. i was happy to draft devin harris as my starting point guard...that is until i saw this video a few days later of him getting schooled by some british nerd in a sweater and tight jeans.



last weekend

on friday, i regretfully agreed to see the max payne movie starring no sense of humor marky mark. i fell asleep, which i know dave is already thinking, "what else is new?", but whatever. it was awful. don't even rent it.

on saturday, i for one drank way too much and i am starting to realize that while i don't have an addiction, i am too easily swayed into binge drinking antics. i drank all saturday afternoon with chris, then went to the turtle with nicky, dave and phil. i think i ended up being the most drunk i have been in a few years and the next morning was not pretty. nicky claims that i am "cool" when i am drunk, which might explain why she avoids spending time with me while i am sober, but i think that i tend to shoot my mouth off a lot when intoxicated and it can leave me with some next morning regrets. also, since i am trying to be healthier and get in reasonable shape, drinking in excess is kind of shooting myself in the foot.

sunday was football free as i somehow managed to pull myself out of bed and go to renfest with jill, bub and some of their friends. it was a fun time, although it is never as good as i expect. we did a lot of people watching. bub and i tried to bet on jousters. bub spent half the day shirtless with just a vest on. jill was on a ridiculous search for some sort of princess hat. we spotted bananaman. jill and i had fun, i think bub did not.

stuff i look at at work

sushi cat - it's no spaghetti cat, but still awesome



conflicting message

animals riding other animals - this is my current desktop image

halloween and parties

there are a bunch of potential parties coming up due to halloween and friends' birthdays. this could cause to be a major conflict for my trying to drink less. this weekend bub is having a party and the following day one of the rivetti relatives is having some sort of awesome outdoor bonfire party that is a 2 hour drive away. i am intrigued by both, though i know i will need a costume for both. i am notoriously bad about making/thinking of costumes and i don't think that will change this year. i just have a hard time committing to anything and then if i do end up dressing up, it's just something thrown together at the last minute. i will probably go to the party store and find some crappy mask or something. in case i do decide to be more creative and put forth a little effort, here are some costume ideas that i will not end up using:

• zombie
• green m&m
• lady bug
• andrew w.k.
• sarah palin
• crazy newspaper face

maybe you are a hot girl who happens to be both reading this blog as well as suffering from the same costume dilemma. this will help:



the following weekend also marks the birthdays of dan and brigitte, both of whom are having parties at the same time at the same place. i believe brigitte is truing 27, while dan is hitting the big 4-0. dave and i were discussing having a steal their thunder party the night before, but it is probably more funny in theory than it would be in practice.

conclusion and other random bits

• laura has titled her latest blog post as "super secret special surprise" which has me interested as well as a little concerned. maybe she's pregnant. probably not. hopefully it is not the video of her dance-slapping me in the face. hopefully she was smart and just deleted it.
• last week i was able to do single leg squats for the first time.
• there is a rumor that louis davis brown will be in town this weekend.
• i have been hurting myself a lot recently...my left wrist and right side of my neck were sore a few days ago for no apparent reason.
• a new and awesome dog park just opened up a few minutes from our house...i took jessie to the ribbon cutting ceremony...too bad it won't make her any smarter
  
• so that's about it for now...and hey, this is my 100th post.

i had a good time and that's all that matters

this was a big weekend. dave purchased nhl 09! my fantasy teams performed well (what's new?). the union of laura and dan occurred and it was quite eventful. a lot of little things happened, so much so that i am having difficulty putting this post together in a structured manner.

the ceremony started sort of early (11:30AM). the rivetti clan came to our house and we all drove to the mansion together. it was located next to some golf course/country club and it was very nice. the weather was as perfect as when we were in tennessee. highlights from the brief (thankfully) ceremony included eskay reading some scripture and laura (looking lovely) nearly losing it. it was all very nice. i also could not shake the thought of rushing up and pushing chris into the fountain behind him.

this wedding brought together a lot of people from my past and it was really nice seeing everyone. i did talk to jen and that went about as well as i could have hoped. i was still painfully awkward, but i think we were both happy to see each other. other noteables included mike kabran, tobin and janet. the reception was nice and the food, although slightly limiting for me, was delicious.

following the reception, we returned to my house where people rested and i pushed hard for more drinking. there were some hesitantly agreeing, probably to shut me up, but overall the lack of enthusiasm was slightly disheartening. we also watched the dvd of nick's one foray into the world of stand-up comedy.

from there the girls and nick drove the the turtle, while the guys walked. there were less people than i expected there, but it was still an awesome time either way. we drank a lot of beer. i bought a round of shots, where i drunkenly added a nice, fat tip even though the waitress had already added 18% gratuity. liz bought me a mind eraser through dave's tab. i think i drunkenly agreed to train ju-jitsu with janet's husband. i started playing hot hands. i blew chris' right hand up so that it looked like a latex glove that someone had blown into. upon seeing this, i demanded we stop playing and i nearly ralphed. there were many more challengers who all suffered the same fate, but to a lesser degree.

there is one other thing i need to note. about 10 years ago i had pulled the "let me show you my new dance move" joke that results in laura getting slapped. i did it twice, the second time being sweeter than the first due to it's outrageous set up. she had tried numerous times to get me back, often when i was inebriated, but she never quite pulled it off as she would get too excited and i would catch on. well dan had called me over. i was pretty drunk, but not enough to use it as an excuse. he set me up asking about his and laura's first dance. laura mentioned she wanted to try some new moves but dan wasn't feeling them. i of course ask about these moves and i fall for it hook, line and sinker. i got it good and laura finally got her revenge after all these years. the worst and most infuriating part was that i look up and eskay had videotaped the whole thing. i later saw him rewatching it with others, all laughing hysterically. i guess if i am going to be the butt of laura's joke, it might as well be on her wedding day. i know this will be the subject of one of laura's blogs when she returns and i will again be the focus of ridicule. she should just know that the war does not end with that slap.

we left the turtle sort of early to watch kimbo get knocked out. ben and louise led some people in rockband. people were passing out early and it was sort of a sad, anti-climactic way to end the night. therefore i decided to tell phil some bedtime stories prior to his going to sleep. i am not one to brag, but i am pretty sure those 2 stories will stay with him forever.

the next morning i awoke to be surprisingly sore. i hadn't been to the gym that day so i was confused. then i remembered, 7 or so rounds of intense hot hands had actually made me more sore than if i had worked out at the gym. my medial deltoids, both sides of my latissmus dorsi and even my left sternocleidomastoid (due to my intense head movements...i wish i was kidding about that) were all extremely sore. the palms of my hands were sore but not swollen due to wrecking people. it was pretty silly.

(i like how this whole entry is so focused on me, even though it is about dan and laura's wedding).

with that in mind, i do have some regrets/wishes:

• i wish i had talked to jen more.
• i wish others had drank way more.
• i wish i had not left my awesome bottle of dragon's tail habanero hot sauce at the turtle...if anyone picked it up, please let me know.
• i wish i had looked at my turtle bill a little closer.
• i wish i had remembered to bring my camera to either event. thankfully i have stolen quite a few pictures posted by friends.
• i wish dan had almost broken down during the ceremony instead of laura.
• i wish i had talked to dan's parents...i sometimes just assume that people i barely know don't remember me and therefore don't really want to talk to me. the latter part might be true, but i wonder if i just appear rude.

below is a sample of pictures that i have stolen so far.





moments before the end











anders is a top student at nam's posing academy








aww...









laura was temporarily blinded by my being awesome. it's tough on the bride when she is out shined on her wedding day








louis kept introducing chakima (sp?) as "kima" which threw me off, but i knew either way, the answer was coupons.


any picture where my eyes are open and i don't have multiple chins becomes an instant go-to picture. louise looks nice too i guess.






phil and his stalker eyes obviously making some girl uncomfortable enough to walk away, pretending that she sees someone else she needs to talk to.









yeah...i dunno either.















cheers! i paid for those.






zoe has officially reached the status of being cuter than an animal dressed up as a different animal.

another one bites the dust

this weekend coming up is a doozy (i don't usually use words like that). my good friends dan and laura will be setting up a joint bank account...actually they probably won't because, even though i wouldn't understand, it is somehow smarter not to. that and they are getting married. i have known both for a very, very, very long time and now i get to be there on the special day that they ruin each others' lives.

i have many memories of both. let's start with laura. we had supposedly been going to the same camps (evergreen, then sunshine) since we were 7. laura says she remembers me, but i don't quite recall knowing her then, probably because i was so popular and she was not really cool enough to hang with me back then. fast forward a few years and thus began our back and forth prank/dumb stuff kids do war. she put dirt in my backpack, i hit her with a pink towel (not filled with rocks), she mashed a banana into my shirt, i ordered bacon to put a crayfish in her hair, etc. it was pretty ridiculous and hilarious. this of course led to laura becoming my first girlfriend as i basically had her friend ask her out for me because i was too scared. yes, i was quite the ladies man even back then. it seemed like it would last forever but instead it was more like 3 months. following that, laura and i remained friends up until now with many fond memories like me hurting her hands in hot hands, the florida road trip, and filming "murderer?".



this may bring back frightening memories for laura





i have known dan since we were in nursery school together at the univeristy of maryland, so i have technically known dan for over 25 years. we didn't go to the same elementary school (he probably went to some nerd school for super smart nerds), but we did play on the same flag football team where he was somehow qb1...who knew? i know dan also went to camp sunshine, but i don't think we really hung out at that point...again, probably because i was too cool and he wasn't able to associate himself with me. we started hanging out again in high school and in theater. i remember dan's awesome indiana jones-esque hat. i remember cutting his hair and accidentally cutting the sides too short. he was mad and happened to be spending the weekend at my house. he threatened to shave my eyebrows off when i slept, but thankfully did not. i also remember hanging out in laurel (isn't it weird that we hung out there even back then?) and we started laughing when we saw the barrel of monkeys game in toys r' us. the laughing continued for like 2 nonstop hours and i am pretty sure my parents thought we had done drugs or something. like with laura, dan and i have also remained friends through the years.



yeah...looking back, i'm not quite sure what we found so funny about this



so now these 2 losers are ruining things and getting married. i am looking forward to the events. here are some things that i think or hope might happen:

• i will get drunk
• somebody else (chris?) will get even more drunk, make an ass out of themselves, thus making me seem "not too bad"
• louise will declare herself "wasted" after 2 beers
• people will not be impressed with my new suit as it looks exactly like my old one
• things won't be as awkward as i am expecting when i see and talk to my ex (i am trying to downplay this but am feeling quite anxious)
  
• louis will have coupons for discount drinks at the turtle after party
• dan will begrudgingly dance
• jill will want to organize some sort of choreographed dance routine that i will refuse to be a part of
• heather will give birth during the ceremony
• eskay will pick up a girl or 4
  
• nam will be caught posing multiple times
• many lame jokes will be made about phil bringing bub
• laura and dan's moms will cry
• the after after party will in fact not be in the hotel lobby, but probably at our house

i was looking through my pictures to post some nice, respectable ones of them on this blog. below is the most recent and boring picture i have of them and also the only one where laura is not drunkenly screaming hateful slurs and dan is not doing various illegal things. cheers! see you tomorrow.

i turned 30 gracefully

i had my 30th birthday party on saturday and had a really good time. it was pretty similar to dave's birthday party 2 weeks ago, a few different people, more drinking games, and a lot less liquor and puking. this time around i managed to remember to charge my camera's battery, which led to a lot of pictures being taken, and thus leading to this post, the most photo saturated post ever on t.i.t.s.

so here is how things went down, more or less, via photo essay (click on any of these pictures for closer inspection):




people showed up earlier since i didn't want to keep my neighbor up all night and jessie got herself ready.








laura was surprised by how much alcohol we had available.







nam and jess showed up and drank water.








phil introduced us to drink ball, which was a lot of fun, until the ball got real dented. then some geniuses thought to boil the ball.







way to go einsteins








dave quite simply did not give a fu**








we did some male bonding








jessie found this offensive and decided to pee on the carpet









simon took my camera and took some "interesting" photos








louise and i take a picture and dave thinks he's invited








we had to take a few shots at least...it was my birthday...







phil took pictures too while dan sat on the couch









tamarack in the house







with the ping pong ball nonfunctional, we switched to flip cup (i think laura wants our attention)







jill, michele and louise ponder their flip cup loss








people played rockband









phil snuck his way into pictures







glenmont apartments...represent!









sean and brigitte cute it up







brody and i tell sean and brigitte to "bring it on", they aren't the only ones who can be cute







chris and i thought it would be appropriate to do some birthday snuggling







bub finds this showing of affection to be applause-worthy









michele becomes my hero by eating the scorpion







phil got a little jealous of me and chris snuggling, so we decide to hold hands







nicky (nikki?) showed up late





finally, one picture from my birthday party stood out from the rest. this image is now my desktop image and makes me laugh every time i see it. much like spaghetti cat, your life may not be the same after you see this. i present, the pic of the night:
thanks to everyone who came out. i had a great time and i hope everyone else did too.

why won't my friends blog?

when i am at work...i am often a very bored man. this has led to my reading waaaay too much about fantasy football. writing in this blog is a slightly more productive activity but i can only write so much...i'm just not that interesting. therefore, i crave things to read at work, even better if it's something written by someone i know...and even greater if my name is mentioned in it.
some of my friends have started blogs, but most have not really fulfilled their blogging duties, at least as far as my expectations go. dan blogs occassionally, but it is usually pretty nerdy. laura just started blogging and seems to have gotten into it, which i think is awesome. dave and louise, both of whom i believe could be very funny writers, started their blogs but those died quickly. ben blogs and rates things...it seems this is primarily anime. i know tobin has a blog...but it is not updated frequently enough and it is usually stuff that goes over my head. eskay had a videogame blog that seems to be retired. his posts were always funny...now he just needs to move onto a personal blog that will amuse me. phil who i think is especially funny in the written format suspiciously dodges my attempts to have him blog...like he's trying to bury some big secret. this leads to nam, who i have had many conversation with on blogging. his wife jess writes regularly in her blog that simultaneously amuses and frightens me. he has always claimed that he "doesn't blog". which is a little odd considering i stumbled upon this little web gem as well as this. nam is telling me as i write this that everyone else has seen these sites...i don't care. i'm going to expose the truth!

anyways this is a call to people to start blogging if you haven't yet, and if you currently are, do it more often. most importantly, make sure to include me in a majoirty of your entries. i mean seriously! where is alex's blog of insanity? where's sean's blog about trumpets...ok, i probably wouldn't read that one. how about louis' money-saving blog? or chris' "i always lose at madden" blog? my current amount of blogging diversions is not sufficient. blog.

back at work which means more bloggin time

i admit it. i have seriously slacked on my blogging. my main excuse is that my computer had some ridiculous virus on it and i had to go to work to get a windows disc. my other excuse is that i am lazy.

winter break was pretty good. as i mentioned before, we had lots of presents, eating and drinking during christmas. louise and i took a nice trip up to philadelphia which i will recap soon. i also managed to achieve a non-embarrassing amount of my winter break goals.

here's an awesome anticlimactic tale for you. i got my oil changed and also took my car in for emissions inspection. nevermind that i was a little nervous that my accord wouldn't make the grade, the main thing to take away from inspections was the old man in the little car in front of me. he seemed harmless enough...kind of looking like an older, grizzled anthony bourdain. well we were sitting there in line...all the cars are in park....or at least i assumed they were. when all of a sudden, i notice that his geo metro is slowly getting closer to my car. i assume that he was trying to....hmmm...i dunno what i assumed, but i didn't think much at first. well he kept getting closer and closer. my brain reacts with a quickness normally associated with animals that react quickly. i start honking my horn. he keeps on keepin on. my horn honks get more and more rapid along with my heart beat. i give him the wtf look he glances in the rear view mirror and gives me a shoulder shrug...as if to say "not my problem". i cannot believe we fucking make eye contact and yet the issue is unresolved. i can only assume that he is approaching me with the obvious intent of property damage. the whole thing is reminiscent of austin powers slowly rolling over that henchman with the steamroller. i check behind me and there's nobody there. i again react with razor sharp reflexes. i put my car in reverse and back up at least 10 feet. he continues to slowly come at me like an angry senior citizen but then eventually stops about 5 feet away from me. well now i am more confused than angry but am considering getting out of my car to act tough and yell at him...hoping he's not actually like that giant man in the tiny car that teaches nelson a lesson on making fun of others. just as i am about to do it, an mva employee comes running out to our lane and begins to yell and chastise the old man. i end up changing lanes, giving him a dirty look as i pass him by. my lane moves fast and i am out of there before him. my car passes the test and i leave satisfied.

i managed to maintain a reasonably healthy existence while on break. i didn't drink nearly as much as i might have a year ago. i made it to the gym 3 times during that 6 day period...didn't reach my goal of 4 trips, but i am feeling ok with 3. i ate reasonably healthy except for the giant stocking full of candy that was constantly tempting me. i didn't get my windshield crack fixed...but that can wait. i did reinstall windows and thusly fixed my computer. i cleaned out my closet and while i didn't throw much away, i at least moved a bunch of clothes i don't think i want to the basement. i sorta cleaned out the fridge.

i met up with jevon up at his place in baltimore. i tried to get in touch with eskay but never heard back. either way, i am really glad that i got hang out with him. like eskay and amanda, he's definitely somebody who i don't see as much as i should. i seem to always have an interesting time with him. he still has that political fire and idealistic outlook that i formed along with him back during our towson years. so discussing politics and the like always kind of recharges me a little. he is also living with froilan and phil that round out the towson crew that i know. this paragraph doesn't make much sense as i read it, but i guess i was just mentioning that i had fun and also pwnd jevon in cod4. froilan pwnd us both.

all in all, it was a pretty good winter break. i didn't get everything done. i should have blogged more and i should have started some sort of art or music project. but i also didn't have that bad, regretful feeling i can sometimes get when i am just wasting my time off. this will be a winter break to build off of so that next year's will be fitter. happier. more productive.

celebrities/historical figues math equals my friends

this is a new feature in my blog where multiple celebrities get mashed up/procreate/combine/whatever to form my friends. here are the first 2. agree? disagree? what do you think?

abraham lincoln + andrew jackson = louis

even after louis has moved out of our house, he remains a hot topic of discussion. while i have often associated louis with abraham lincoln, dave thinks he shares more similarities with another u.s. president, andrew jackson. they all have longish faces with similar features. i know louis is skinny and i assume abe and jackson were as well.while we never held a $5 bill and $20 bill next to louis' face, i think the combination of the 2 presidents would probably equal louis.




devendra banhart + john stamos = nick?

i think these pictures do a decent job in showing their similarities. he and devendra are tall, skinny and musicians. actually...stamos is a musician too. proof of both of their musical prowess are shown in the videos at the end. nick and stamos share some similar facial features. the combo of these 2 equaling nick is a "if they mated" slam dunk.