this marks 2 weekends in a row that were a little more interesting and eventful than usual. yesterday we played basketball and lost to a bunch of 11 year old hustlers. saturday we went to bub's bbq and while it was a great time, i do have some regrets. the paragraphs coming up may become a little too personal and could turn into one of those situations where you are so embarassed for someone that it makes you embarassed...i dunno how it's all gonna come out....but just a warning that you might want to just skip this post. i guess it's not really thaaaat bad, but just maybe more than i should share publicly.
anyways...i drank at the bbq....kind of a lot. it started off with a 40 of steel reserve and continued with jungle juice and other beers. i dominated in flip cup to the point where it wasn't really fair any more. i got into some serious beer pong shit-talking with bub's crazy roommate who farted on another girl. i played some invented beach ball game with jill. i may have agreed to take kung fu with some guy with a strong southern accent. dave wanted to punch chris in the face. i somehow ended up scraping the knuckles on my left hand pretty good and i don't remember how. i got to see katie's apartment and she apprently made fun of my shoes. i won one game of dominos without playing.
i also spotted a girl...er well dave spotted her and said i should talk to her. i took a look and agreed. she was really cute and seemed cool. now here is why i need to find the right level of drunkeness. i was certainly socially lubricated, but was also an idiot. i did manage to talk to her some. i found out we have a similar fondness for freaks and geeks. i also know that she is going to grad school for something in education. i just wasn't focused enough and as the night went on, i think my comments to her got more and more non-sensical. either way, i couldn't have made a good first impression. due to my inebriation, i also really have no clue if she was interested as well and my self-defeatist style says doubtful.
i do hope that she was pretty drunk too. that could help me out some. the worst part though...i didn't even say bye to her when i stumbled out of bub's house...i know...
i remember her name and i hope to see her again at one of bub's future get togethers. where i will hopefully be a little drunk, so that i can summon the courage to really try to holla at her, but not sloppy drunk. i also have a lot of self doubt i guess and can psych myself out of these things. maybe she is dating someone...she probably is not interested...i don't know what to say...why am i so awkward?...etc. i know i need to be a little more positive and confident, but that can be hard to force.
so yeah, i am feeling like enough time has passed from my previous relationship that i should be trying to drunkenly hit on girls. it has been a long time since i have actually talked to a girl i was into and that in and of itself was nice. but i am realizing that for whatever reason (i like to think that it's because i have been in ltr after ltr) i have no game and need to improve my conversational skills...as well as upgrade my shoes apparently. at this point i even consider my pathetic attempts on saturday a success as at least i am making an effort. if i never see her again, at least i got a little practice and next time it will be easier. i look to my friends who after laughing at me, should give me some tips on trying to talk to girls or any other general girl advice.
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