my final fantasy draft of the season

our group of friends recently held our annual fantasy football draft, and while it is for the least amount of money amongst all of my money leagues, it might be the one i care about most just for the bragging rights.

we held the draft online for the first time this year...and of course phil did something shady and there were major internet issues, where i almost got screwed out of a pick and nam got 2 of his picks auto-picked....lame.

otherwise the draft went pretty well. it didn't take 4 hours like i had originally thought. i was unhappy with picking 9th...i never get a top pick, but that aspect is tough to blame on phil. overall i am happy with my team, where i don't have the strongest starting group in the league, but i think i have the deepest team.

here are some random like/dislikes/notes from the draft:

• chris and sean took a lot of players i was targeting (brees, chris johnon, thomas jones, desean jackson)
• laura grabbing brandon marshall in round 5 could be the steal of the draft
• dan took a qb early...again
• i may have reached on favre in round 6, but qb's were going fast
• phil's roommate took deshaun foster in round 4, wtf??? does she know him personally? or was she using phil's 2oo4 fantasy magazine?
• i didn't need another rb, but i could no longer pass on ray rice in round 13
• laura asked about the "chicago browns"... (eye roll)
• phil taking mcnabb in round 3 was real risky, but i liked it
• even though he dicked around in the second half of the draft, i think this is by far the strongest team chris has ever drafted
• why did louis draft matt leinart? what happened to spiro agnew?
• half of laura's bench is hurt
• getting ted ginn was a nice move by eskay, but i was otherwise unimpressed with his team...to be fair, i did not like his team last year and they ended up being one of the tops teams
• finally, my favorite late pick of the draft was dan taking mike sellers

a cowardly theory

i've recently made an interesting observation concerning the colts qb situation. yes, this one is purely about football...so dave, feel free to read this one carefully and then comment.

anyways, jim sorgi is the backup qb for the indianapolis colts. this has to be the best job in the nfl. peyton manning has never missed an nfl game because on injury and as far as i know sorgi has been healthy throughout his 4 year career. this preseason manning undergoes suergery to remove an infected bursa sac and may potentially miss some games. time for sorgi to step up, right?

sorgi has had some playing experience, usually at the end of the season when the colts have their playoff situation all wrapped up and they want to rest their starters. those are pretty low pressure games to play in. now he might have to start the season as the team's qb1 and we suddenly hear of some mystery knee ailment or something. coincidence?

now i have no evidence or really any reason to arrive at the following theory, but it popped in my head, probably because this is how i would deal with it as well. sorgi can't handle the pressure and is faking his injury to avoid having to play. he's cool with his cushy situation of collecting big paychecks, wearing a baseball cap and standing next to tony dungy, but now that the pressure is on, he's wilting faster than flowers jessie just breathed on. oh snap! yeah, i just went there...

anyways, he's probably praying for peyton to get healthy now with some sort of reverse voodoo doll. i checked and sorgi is 6'5, weighing in at 196...hmm, that sounds like a louis brown physique, which is good for running, but not for getting piledrived by 2 300 pound men. much like nam and his blog, jim sorgi...consider yourself exposed!!!

discoveries of late

in an attempt to keep up my end of the blogging agreement, i am starting yet another series of posts that may be easier to keep up as opposed to other series like people that are considered funny but are clearly unfunny. although i could easily add to that list (robin williams, mike meyers, dana carvey, etc.) those posts often require more time and i am usually lazy.

this new series will comprise of things i find on the internet that amuse, horrify, and entertain me. while i doubt anything i find the rest of this year will compare to spaghetti cat, here are some recent internet discoveries:

1. hanna montana gummies
wow...i honestly don't know what to say about this. upon seeing this for the first time, it gave me a sense of relief that there are in fact wonderful things that exist in the universe. i feel everything involved in this is pure, unadulterated genius. did billy ray have any input on this? just...wow...

2. my new favorite source of motivation
i have been hitting the gym a lot lately in an effort to not be quite so fat. some days are tough and i just don't have the effort to go in and do work. sometimes i get tired and feel like skipping tougher exercises. now when i need it most, i can think about the following image, dig deep and work out like i am supposed to. i know he made a grammar error and it should be "you're", not "your"...but cut him some slack...he's a puppy.

3. the sexy people website
don't worry, this is not a porn site...and is very sfw, unless your coworkers hear you laughing like i do after each of laura's fantasy football draft picks. either way, this is an decent time waster and consists of wonderfully awful portraits of misguided people (seemingly mostly from the 70s and 80s). click here. i think my faves are trevor and larry.

4. the dark knight with kids
i really enjoyed the dark night, even though it went way past my normal limit of 100 minutes. this is a few weeks old, but i found it appropriate to include here as it is surprisingly well done and entertaining.

why won't my friends blog?

when i am at work...i am often a very bored man. this has led to my reading waaaay too much about fantasy football. writing in this blog is a slightly more productive activity but i can only write so much...i'm just not that interesting. therefore, i crave things to read at work, even better if it's something written by someone i know...and even greater if my name is mentioned in it.
some of my friends have started blogs, but most have not really fulfilled their blogging duties, at least as far as my expectations go. dan blogs occassionally, but it is usually pretty nerdy. laura just started blogging and seems to have gotten into it, which i think is awesome. dave and louise, both of whom i believe could be very funny writers, started their blogs but those died quickly. ben blogs and rates things...it seems this is primarily anime. i know tobin has a blog...but it is not updated frequently enough and it is usually stuff that goes over my head. eskay had a videogame blog that seems to be retired. his posts were always funny...now he just needs to move onto a personal blog that will amuse me. phil who i think is especially funny in the written format suspiciously dodges my attempts to have him blog...like he's trying to bury some big secret. this leads to nam, who i have had many conversation with on blogging. his wife jess writes regularly in her blog that simultaneously amuses and frightens me. he has always claimed that he "doesn't blog". which is a little odd considering i stumbled upon this little web gem as well as this. nam is telling me as i write this that everyone else has seen these sites...i don't care. i'm going to expose the truth!

anyways this is a call to people to start blogging if you haven't yet, and if you currently are, do it more often. most importantly, make sure to include me in a majoirty of your entries. i mean seriously! where is alex's blog of insanity? where's sean's blog about trumpets...ok, i probably wouldn't read that one. how about louis' money-saving blog? or chris' "i always lose at madden" blog? my current amount of blogging diversions is not sufficient. blog.

best thing i have seen in a while

i don't care what anyone says, the soup is a hilarious television program. i'm not sure if it's a guilty pleasure, since i am not ashamed about liking it, but i could see how some would view it that way. while the show is always on point, one particular moment shamed all other funny moments on the show. i remember watching it with louise as we both laughed, but after 10 seconds her laughter died down like a normal person, while mine grew out of control. her smile may have transformed into a look of concern as i was gasping for air.

hmmm....that description may have built up this clip to unrealistic expectations. oh well. i know most people have probably seen it, but i write this as one part informative to someone who is unaware that this moment exists and one part documenting one of the funniest things i have seen in a while. enjoy.


i've done some research on this and apparently fox did that on purpose as a way to bleep something out. while i kind of wish this was the work of some assy jerk who was unhappy working the control room and thought this would be a funny prank, i do look forward to seeing more of these random stills as bleep replacement.

birthday conundrum

my 30th birthday is coming up soon and i need to make a decision about how to celebrate. i don't think i will freak out over the fact that i am becoming one year older and that year happens to arbitrarily be starting a new decade, but you never know. i am trying to decide between having a keg party similar to daves or else just going out to some bar.

while i think i prefer the idea of just having people over and hanging out...it might be too soon. the aftertaste of excessive yeungling may still be left in peoples' mouths and therefore doing it again 2 weeks later will probably just be kind of a letdown. on the other hand, if we go out, it will be more expensive, i will end up drinking too many different kinds of liquor and not everyone will be able to drink.

it would be nice to not have a party since there would be no clean up and a new environment to hang out in. also, i worry about angering the neighbors. we were pretty loud last time and i felt bad when they were looking out their window at us at like 1am. i did speak to my neighbor a few days ago and it was kind of a weird exchange.

i am walking towards my house while he is leaving. we exchange hellos. as he is getting into his car i decide that this is a good time to feel him out.

me: hey! sorry about it getting so loud the other night.
neighbor: (smiling) oh...don't worry about it (in thick african accent)
me: yeah, i saw that you guys were looking out your window at us and i felt bad that it was so noisy that late at night.
neighbor: seriously, it's no problem.
(i am feeling a little better)
me: oh ok, well then-
neighbor: my baby was just crying. (no change in tone, still sounding friendly)
(i am thrown)
me: uh....my bad...we'll try to keep it down next time.
neighbor: sure...don't worry about it.

i walk into my house not really sure what transpired. either way, if we do have a party this weekend, i think i will let him know ahead of time and give him my cell #, so that he can hit me on my hip if it is too loud.
so i am kind of unsure as to what i should do. i know the 2 people that read this blog are people that should be coming to my birthday outing, so what do you think i should do? what would be more fun? if you suggest going out, please give me some ideas.