Friday, October 3, 2008

another one bites the dust

this weekend coming up is a doozy (i don't usually use words like that). my good friends dan and laura will be setting up a joint bank account...actually they probably won't because, even though i wouldn't understand, it is somehow smarter not to. that and they are getting married. i have known both for a very, very, very long time and now i get to be there on the special day that they ruin each others' lives.

i have many memories of both. let's start with laura. we had supposedly been going to the same camps (evergreen, then sunshine) since we were 7. laura says she remembers me, but i don't quite recall knowing her then, probably because i was so popular and she was not really cool enough to hang with me back then. fast forward a few years and thus began our back and forth prank/dumb stuff kids do war. she put dirt in my backpack, i hit her with a pink towel (not filled with rocks), she mashed a banana into my shirt, i ordered bacon to put a crayfish in her hair, etc. it was pretty ridiculous and hilarious. this of course led to laura becoming my first girlfriend as i basically had her friend ask her out for me because i was too scared. yes, i was quite the ladies man even back then. it seemed like it would last forever but instead it was more like 3 months. following that, laura and i remained friends up until now with many fond memories like me hurting her hands in hot hands, the florida road trip, and filming "murderer?".

this may bring back frightening memories for laura

i have known dan since we were in nursery school together at the univeristy of maryland, so i have technically known dan for over 25 years. we didn't go to the same elementary school (he probably went to some nerd school for super smart nerds), but we did play on the same flag football team where he was somehow qb1...who knew? i know dan also went to camp sunshine, but i don't think we really hung out at that point...again, probably because i was too cool and he wasn't able to associate himself with me. we started hanging out again in high school and in theater. i remember dan's awesome indiana jones-esque hat. i remember cutting his hair and accidentally cutting the sides too short. he was mad and happened to be spending the weekend at my house. he threatened to shave my eyebrows off when i slept, but thankfully did not. i also remember hanging out in laurel (isn't it weird that we hung out there even back then?) and we started laughing when we saw the barrel of monkeys game in toys r' us. the laughing continued for like 2 nonstop hours and i am pretty sure my parents thought we had done drugs or something. like with laura, dan and i have also remained friends through the years.

yeah...looking back, i'm not quite sure what we found so funny about this

so now these 2 losers are ruining things and getting married. i am looking forward to the events. here are some things that i think or hope might happen:
  • i will get drunk
  • somebody else (chris?) will get even more drunk, make an ass out of themselves, thus making me seem "not too bad"
  • louise will declare herself "wasted" after 2 beers
  • people will not be impressed with my new suit as it looks exactly like my old one
  • things won't be as awkward as i am expecting when i see and talk to my ex (i am trying to downplay this but am feeling quite anxious)
  • louis will have coupons for discount drinks at the turtle after party
  • dan will begrudgingly dance
  • jill will want to organize some sort of choreographed dance routine that i will refuse to be a part of
  • heather will give birth during the ceremony
  • eskay will pick up a girl or 4
  • nam will be caught posing multiple times
  • many lame jokes will be made about phil bringing bub
  • laura and dan's moms will cry
  • the after after party will in fact not be in the hotel lobby, but probably at our house
i was looking through my pictures to post some nice, respectable ones of them on this blog. below is the most recent and boring picture i have of them and also the only one where laura is not drunkenly screaming hateful slurs and dan is not doing various illegal things. cheers! see you tomorrow.


Tobin said...

I predict that Josh Canuck will show up despite not being invited, and you will kill him with your calves.

It's gonna be good to see you guys again, see you tomorrow! I'm gonna make my wife drive, I think, so I can get hammered.

Laura said...

Thanks Kevin, this was touching. You did forget to mention the sweet dance move but that is going to be a separate post on my blog. Mu ha ha ha!