i personally think it suits me well

this past weekend dave mentioned that he was going to take his suit to the dry cleaners. knowing that we will have to be dressing up for dan and laura's wedding, i immediately jumped at this chance and told him he should take my suit in as well. now i am not one that usually dresses up. i had to wear a suit for my brother's wife's sister's wedding in august, and with the kichak-robinson event, i will have to suit it up again, thus going over the normal 1 time dress up per year limit i have set for myself.

i would rather wear a tuxedo t-shirt to these types of functions, but apparently that look is frowned upon. i just don't feel comfortable in a suit. i don't think i look particularly good in them. in fact, even though i am now 30, i always feel like a kid whose parent's forced them to wear a suit, like they are pretending to be an adult...except i am an adult...it's confusing and nobody wins.

basically suits and i disagree. the suit that i own is now over 10 years old. i specifically remember having to go and buy it at age 19 to go to my girlfriend's sorority formal. i hated suits even back then, but bit the bullet and allowed my mom to buy one for me. even though it has not been worn very often, i have not really taken the best care of this suit. apparently you are supposed to get these things dry-cleaned after you wear them...i did not know this. the result being that at the wedding this past august, i noticed like 10 little holes in various places on my suit that were a result of small food particles that moths decided to eat. the holes were only noticeable if you were looking for them. from any normal distance i was good.

so i figured i would just use this suit again and hope that nobody notices/cares. that is until dave picked up my suit, examined it and began busting on it. he mentioned that this looks like a suit that louis would own. louise and chris also chimed in about it looking old fashioned and not in style. i didn't really think basic suites went in and out of style, but apparently what i owned did not keep up with the current trends.

well i guess if my suit is old fashioned and has holes in it, i have to stop being cheap and go look for another suit. after work, louise is going to take me to men's warehouse so i can pick something out...actually i already know how this will play out. louise will pick something up and say this looks good. i will shrug my shoulders. i will get the suit fitted and then be unhappy about how much money i am spending on something i wear once a year.

how will i look at the wedding? here are some ideas...what do you think?

week 1 - it's all downhill from here

a perfect storm may have converged on my team this weekend. michael turner lit up the lions defense for 220 and 2 td's. that's just silly. the rest of my starters all did as well as i had hoped. the only stinker was my kicker, netting me 3 points. i almost made the ideal lineup, but should have played kevin smith over nate burleson and surprisingly kevin walter over larry fitzgerald, but we are talking a difference of like 3 points. even my bench performed well with most of them getting around 10 points.

i still have greg jennings to play tonight, which should secure my top score for week 1, and thus a $5 bonus.


the thing is, my team will not play this well again...probably for the entire season. i have peaked way to early, and thus, i would like to capitalize on the increase in perceived value of many of my players through trades. this would work except, nobody ever wants to trade in this league, so i will probably not be making any blockbuster moves...at least not this early in the season.

everyone else's teams played about as well as i expected. interesting things i noted:

• phil got a huge boost from mcnabb.
• l.t. did not come up big for sean.
• hines ward caught 2 tds?
• willie parker had almost as big of a day as the burner.
• nam's team got screwed in the draft, but with tom brady being out for the season, it might have worked out with espn autopicking a backup qb early for him.
• chris johnson may be more of a beast than i originally thought

i will enjoy the quick start my team has gotten off to, with the understanding that i am probably looking at a very big letdown in week 2. luckily, this week i play phil's roommate, eileen, who drafted deshaun foster...so i should enjoy at least one more week of winning.



hold on...you're telling me i still play football? in the nfl?...cause let me tell you, i am pretty awful at football....ok, just checking.

...and we're off!!!

as i sit here at my stupid job waiting for the nfl season to begin, i ponder many things. with the imminent poor play of both my fantasy teams as well as the redskins, this may in fact be the happiest and most optimistic i will be all season long. is it too much to ask that the redskins return to the playoffs? is it too much to expect that all of my fantasy teams perform to the level i had hoped and expected? probably.

i'm sure this season will be filled with a lot of trash talk with eskay. there will be a whole lot of stressing over which players to start. i know there will be a lot of nagging phil about league specifics where he bitches about me not being the commissioner. there will be a lot of eye rolling going on when the redskins break the record for most consecutive three-and-outs. there will be a lot of cursing myself for once again being seduced by lady potential. basically, this will be a season of regret.
my best bet is to become more heavily invested in fantasy basketball. anyone in? anyone? oh well. good luck to everyone, except when you play me. good luck redskins, try not to embarrass yourselves too badly tonight.

9021(clever pun)

i had been excited about the rebirth of beverly hills 90210 since i remember it as an amusing show 15 years ago. many of these memories might be slightly whitewashed, but it was more or less a guilty pleasure/so bad it's ironically appealing. the act of remaking this show alone might not have been enough for me to intentionally watch it. once they announced lori loughlin was on board, i was as well.

i did not have high hopes in that this show would be of good quality, but the piece of shit i watched last night was more or less unwatchable. i have pretty low television standards, but this was pushing it. the only redeaming aspects of the show are lori (obviously) and lucille bluth. after about 10 minutes, i stopped paying attention and only looked up at the tv occassionally when lori was making the screen glow with her smile. the problem is, the show is using her all wrong and has her more or less covered up when she is a lot hotter than any of the 25 year old high school girls on the show.

this makes me think even more fondly back to the days of steve sanders. if they start putting lori in a bikini, i will return. overall, this show was 9021no good.

i turned 30 gracefully

i had my 30th birthday party on saturday and had a really good time. it was pretty similar to dave's birthday party 2 weeks ago, a few different people, more drinking games, and a lot less liquor and puking. this time around i managed to remember to charge my camera's battery, which led to a lot of pictures being taken, and thus leading to this post, the most photo saturated post ever on t.i.t.s.

so here is how things went down, more or less, via photo essay (click on any of these pictures for closer inspection):




people showed up earlier since i didn't want to keep my neighbor up all night and jessie got herself ready.








laura was surprised by how much alcohol we had available.







nam and jess showed up and drank water.








phil introduced us to drink ball, which was a lot of fun, until the ball got real dented. then some geniuses thought to boil the ball.







way to go einsteins








dave quite simply did not give a fu**








we did some male bonding








jessie found this offensive and decided to pee on the carpet









simon took my camera and took some "interesting" photos








louise and i take a picture and dave thinks he's invited








we had to take a few shots at least...it was my birthday...







phil took pictures too while dan sat on the couch









tamarack in the house







with the ping pong ball nonfunctional, we switched to flip cup (i think laura wants our attention)







jill, michele and louise ponder their flip cup loss








people played rockband









phil snuck his way into pictures







glenmont apartments...represent!









sean and brigitte cute it up







brody and i tell sean and brigitte to "bring it on", they aren't the only ones who can be cute







chris and i thought it would be appropriate to do some birthday snuggling







bub finds this showing of affection to be applause-worthy









michele becomes my hero by eating the scorpion







phil got a little jealous of me and chris snuggling, so we decide to hold hands







nicky (nikki?) showed up late





finally, one picture from my birthday party stood out from the rest. this image is now my desktop image and makes me laugh every time i see it. much like spaghetti cat, your life may not be the same after you see this. i present, the pic of the night:
thanks to everyone who came out. i had a great time and i hope everyone else did too.

my final fantasy draft of the season

our group of friends recently held our annual fantasy football draft, and while it is for the least amount of money amongst all of my money leagues, it might be the one i care about most just for the bragging rights.

we held the draft online for the first time this year...and of course phil did something shady and there were major internet issues, where i almost got screwed out of a pick and nam got 2 of his picks auto-picked....lame.

otherwise the draft went pretty well. it didn't take 4 hours like i had originally thought. i was unhappy with picking 9th...i never get a top pick, but that aspect is tough to blame on phil. overall i am happy with my team, where i don't have the strongest starting group in the league, but i think i have the deepest team.

here are some random like/dislikes/notes from the draft:

• chris and sean took a lot of players i was targeting (brees, chris johnon, thomas jones, desean jackson)
• laura grabbing brandon marshall in round 5 could be the steal of the draft
• dan took a qb early...again
• i may have reached on favre in round 6, but qb's were going fast
• phil's roommate took deshaun foster in round 4, wtf??? does she know him personally? or was she using phil's 2oo4 fantasy magazine?
• i didn't need another rb, but i could no longer pass on ray rice in round 13
• laura asked about the "chicago browns"... (eye roll)
• phil taking mcnabb in round 3 was real risky, but i liked it
• even though he dicked around in the second half of the draft, i think this is by far the strongest team chris has ever drafted
• why did louis draft matt leinart? what happened to spiro agnew?
• half of laura's bench is hurt
• getting ted ginn was a nice move by eskay, but i was otherwise unimpressed with his team...to be fair, i did not like his team last year and they ended up being one of the tops teams
• finally, my favorite late pick of the draft was dan taking mike sellers