you can't take me anywhere

i had that keeper draft on saturday and while some things went well i left with intense feelings of regret. this is a league with louise's stepdad, gary, and a bunch of his friends, most of whom probably have not spent much time around asian people. that's not to say that they weren't friendly or welcoming but many were older guys that one might consider slightly redneckish. at least that was my initial impression and assumption, which really didn't turn out to be valid. now i am already pretty shy around people i don't know, so with all of my own assumptions and stereotypes, i started off the evening a little guarded. knowing gary, who is such a great guy, i shouldn't have prejudged all of my leaguemates like i did.

well the draft went really well. i was very happy with most of my choices, with other guys usually complimenting my picks or jokingly cursing me for stealing the guy they wanted. there were some characters there. after a few shots of makers mark, i loosened up, realized everyone there was cool and i felt totally comfortable. that's where the problems began. often times when i drink, i can get a little mouthy. i start going off on subjects that i may or may not have any business talking about and it is obnoxious. when the subject of smoking comes up i get into extreme hypocrytical mode and start lecturing to these guys that they need to quit. these are guys that have been smoking for longer than i have been alive and for some reason i go off on them and think that i can suddenly change their minds. extremely obnoxious...i know.

i of course continue to drink and i discuss various subject with anyone that will listen to me. we talk about politics (i know, i know...). i don't recall how it comes up but someone talks about arm wrestling and i of course cannot resist talking shit/boasting, so i declare something like "arm wrestling??? shit...i'll run the table right now!" of course i end up arm wrestling and just generally being an asshole.
after the arm wrestling i am drunkenly coming to the conclusion that i am shooting my mouth off and acting a fool. i begin to apologize to these guys that i just met. they, being very nice guys who can handle their liquor are of course telling me that it's no problem and that i'm fine. well once i get an idea in my head where i think that i am being obnoxious/asshole/etc. i can't shake the thought. so i keep on apologizing, thus probably annoying people even more.

so i leave the draft with a great team, but feeling particularly embarrassed and ashamed by my behavior. i do hope that they don't think much of my drunken tomfoolery and that there was no harm done. louise keeps telling me that it's a complete nonissue, but i tend to obsess and dwell on stuff like this. at next year's draft i will only drink beer.