Wednesday, November 14, 2007

this probably explains a lot

as a kid, there were many popular games that i enjoyed. i spent many years honing my skills in all of them. there was mercy, which was basically you and another kid trying to break each others' fingers. i was pretty good at that one. i managed to bring the pain and win almost every match. i had a few different techniques. the move i usually liked to start off with was what i like to now refer to as "swinging for the fences". this involved crushing my opponents' fingers between mine with a vice-like grip, then quickly transitioning into a bilateral twist that would put both of our wrists pointing up. then i would torque on their wrists, hands and fingers, pushing mine in the direction towards their waist, thus having them scream mercy all in about 3 seconds. it was a nice transition between moves that i compare to efficient brazillian jujitsu moves. this worked on about 2/3 of my opponents. if they were stronger or more experienced, this maneuver usually wouldn't work. now i think i have kind of a low threshold for pain, so i had to analyze what my best options were. if they were a little slow, i might try the ol' "what's this game called again?" i might also try to use distraction, make a quick move and hope for the best. either way, i was not trying to have my hands mangled the way i mangled hands.



arm wrestling was another favorite of mine. while i was stronger than the average kid, most of the kids who had any interest in actually arm wrestling were generally stronger than me. i incorporated a few techniques (cheats) that allowed me to stay competitive in this arena. i had learned a little about leverage and quickly realized that the further your arm reached from your body, the less power you were able to exert. so i was always sticking my hand out first, keeping it close to my body, alligator arm style, and made my opponent meet my hand, thus having him extend his arm out. i also employed the move where you use your non-wrestling hand to push the side of the table and thus give you additional power. this technique became too obvious and i was subsequently called out for it, deservedly so. arm wrestling was fun, but i was only ok at it, having beaten aaron sheer at it, but never winning once (after dozens of attempts) against ian alestock.



six inches was a game where you and your opponent took turns punching each other in the shoulder from six inches out. this was another game i was ok, but not great at. a couple of my opponents overreacted and hammed it up when i hit them, so everyone seemed to think that i was this guy who punched really hard. i always thought my punching power was average, and i didn't really like getting hit in the shoulder, so i let everyone continue to think i was good. people didn't really want to play me after that, so i just coasted on my reputation.

finally there was hot hands. ah...hot hands. this was the game i was the best at. this game involved holding your hands out in front of you, palms up. your opponent would face you with the hands, palm down, placed directly on top of yours. you would them try to slap their hands. you could try to fake them out and if they flinched 3 times, you get a free hit. once you miss them on a slap, you switch places and it is their turn to try and slap you.

i'm not particularly quick, but in hot hands, my hands moved like louis' when he's cutting coupons. i brought the power too. it was a deadly combo. literally. sike. but i did put the hurt on my unsuspecting opponents. when i hit your hand, the slap can be heard in the future. i've made hands beet red, bloodied and broken blood vessels, though i put the blame on the opponent for not knowing when to stop. most people would put a limit on the times i could hit them or they would simply quit after 3 or 4 slaps. but occasionally i would come across a player that would let their ego get in the way and refuse to quit, thus the aforementioned outcomes. it's too bad that hot hands never developed into a sport, cause i think i could have done something in it. nowadays, everyone is all "grown up" and doesn't like playing hot hands, so i am probably a little rusty, but if they ever start up the ultimate hot-hander...i'm trying out.



1 comment:

Phil said...

people with longer arms are already at a disadvantage in arm wrestling. i blame any loss entirely on that. i have played you in hot hands and if i thought for a few more minutes i could come up with an excuse for my loss im sure..i think you did have home field advantage