that's not funny part 1

i was considering compiling a list of celebrities that i hate, but soon realized that most of the celebrities that are targets of my hate tend to be the ones that think they are very funny but are clearly not. other hateables include too-obvious celebrities that erryone else hates as well as most politicians, but i am focusing on "entertainers" who so desperately want to be funny, but alas are not.

jay leno

why?
this horribly unfunny dynamo has hosted the tonight show and done so with the most vanilla, obvious jokes, spinkled with some random issues of manhood and not being gay. his high-pitched, nasally voice reads joke after joke that anyone under the age of 60 should be ashamed to laugh at.

well on the other hand...
he seems like a genuinely nice guy. i have a feeling that if he was some guy that you worked with, he wouldn't try to force his "comedy" and actually be an ok guy. he tries so hard, which makes everything seem kind of sad and much more amazing in it's spectacle, sort of a comedy train wreck where many viewers are stuck in channel surfing rubbernecking.

hatred level - 6

dane cook

why?
if i was a biologist, he would be classified as douche-sapien. he steals jokes, is a spaz on stage and along with leno, tries so hard, but strikes out every time. his comedy is a combination of dumbed-down frat guy stylings, mixed with completely random "observations" that have the approach that they are so "out there", that they become funny. not clever. awful.

well on the other hand...
he made it happen via myspace, and was probably the first one to do so with this level of success. it's tough to come up with too much positive. i will let the fake video below sum things up.


hatred level - 8

carlos mencia

why?
this guy is awful for a number of reasons. he uses his "mexican" heritage as a way to make incredibly racist and insulting jokes. he's half german and his real name is ned holness. it's one thing to have jokes that are racially insulting, but his comedy tends to also insult the intelligence of his audience. along with dane cook, he has been known to steal jokes from lesser-known comics.

well on the other hand...
science has proven he's just not funny, plain and simple.






hatred level - 9.5