Monday, January 7, 2008

big money

so i am approaching this writing of my goings-ons in reverse order as i have yet to write about my philly trip, but here's a rundown of my trip to atlantic city.

we left saturday and i went with phil, chris, dan, laura and sean. it took us like 5 hours to get there because of traffic and people needing to stop everywhere and buy food and beer and gas, etc. as we got to close to all of the casinos, i got excited...but then all of a sudden we got off on some exit that took us away from the main strip of casinos and i cried foul. i realized that we were apparently going to give our business to the hoity-toity borgata and their smart garage layout.

anyways, we walked through the casino and laura decided to get a sandwich...we stood around waiting for about 3 minutes when i could take it no more...i had to lose money and i had to lose money right then and there. i walked to the closest slot machine and lost $10 in 2 minutes...ah...that's more like it. not to be shown up by a simple money stealing machine, we sat at a black jack table. there was no love for kevin at this table. while everyone was winning more often than not, i got more 14's and 15's than really should have been statistically possible. the female supervisor asked the dealer "do you have an envelope?" the dealer replied "no...why?" she then points to me and says, "cause this guy should just mail his money to us..." i didn't really understand the joke but i understood that i was getting clowned. i responded by losing the rest of my $40.

following that pleasant experience, we were off to find the sports book so that people could bet on the redskins game as well as find a nice place to watch it. well apparently dan had dreamt that this was available in atlantic it was not. we shifted around from bar to bar...never getting sound. laura, sean and phil returned to gambling while dan, chris and i settled on the dimly lit bar that had 3 slutty waitresses. we were ignored by said whorish servers for about 30 minutes. i gave up and went to the bar to get a drink. chris waited a few more minutes. he and one of the scantily-clad waitresses made eye contact...but even that did not send her our way...but it did send chris over the deep end. he walked up to the bar and lectured the bartender about our poor service. i realized then and there, i was not going to order another drink. the waitress walked by us again and this time i made eye contact with her...there was a pause and like a cornerback i saw her movements before she was gonna make them...she was definitely going to walk right by us again...i gave her the international "over here waitress" hand gesture and it worked. chris and dan got their fruity berries and cream drinks that were surely 2 parts gay and 3 parts saliva and we peacefully watched the redskins humiliate themselves on national tv.

following that debacle we moved on to video poker. it was a version i had never played before where you could play up to 50 hands at once. i'm not calling myself a gambling genius, but i did turn a miniscule $20 into a whopping $37.60. i had intended on taking a picture of me holding up my earnings...but i forgot.

then we were all off to craps...which was apparently all the rage last time everyone was in a.c. i didn't have a clear grasp of the game so i figured i would watch phil and laura quickly lose tens of dollars rather than do it myself.

we continued to drink and walk around as our evening wound down. everyone lost money...some more than others, but i believe everyone had a good time. next time i'll probably gamble some poker...i just had a bad feeling about my luck after black jack. i thought my night was over...but on the way home, dan stopped at a wawa. laura visited the bathroom and when she returned, a flowing 3 foot piece of toilet paper followed her around the store. it was pretty absurd, to the point where i initially thought she was joking. dan saw it...laughed hard and didn't tell laura. below is a picture i tried to covertly take but it obviously did not turn out well...i also attempted to draw a picture re-enacting the hilarious event, but it also failed. i will have to rely on the mental image.


Phil said...

Its always interesting hearing someone elses recap of an event that you were present for. You assume you experience it the same only to find out not quite.

A) Borgota is by far the best casino there IME and the hoity toity comments dont hold water as we immediately found a $5 blackjack table. Other than cheaper table games (which I didnt experience) I guess I don't see any appeal of a cheaper more run down casino. Last time there it felt more like a nursing home at some of the other ones than a casino and had a slight smell of desperation, boredom, and aspercreme in the air.

B) You referred to the servers as both slutty ,whorish and scantily do know this is a casino bar not church? Was this at the first one? Because I'm pretty sure our server at the 2nd one was wearing a polo shirt? Either way if I was an attractive young woman depending predominately on mens tips for my income I would have no issue with being scantily-clad to the horror of grandomthers everywhere.

Anyway I agree with your synopsis for the most part, it was fun for all and I'm sorry I missed Laura dragging toilet paper across the Wawa floor :( Oh and I thought that joke was something about mailing you your new card or ID or something.

I was just going to comment on something you left out only to realize you weren't there for it and apparently didnt hear about it :)

kevin said...

the borgata is fine i suppose. i guess my main issue was that it was not close to the other casinos. i really enjoy walking around from casino to casino. the smells of the old casinos add to the charm for your voerall a.c. least moreso than feeling like you were walking around montgomery mall. although it did have those $5 tables, i think that was a was hoity-toity...

i wasn't coming down on those slutty borgata employees...i was simply describing them. it was not a dis..nor a complement.

when are we going to vegas?